“I know,” I agree. “But quitting definitely won’t make it happen.”
She looks at me then, eyes glassy in a way I hate. “What if this is just… the sign?”
I shake my head immediately. “No. Absolutely not. Rejection isn’t a sign to stop. It’s just part of the process. A horrible, unfair part, but still.”
She presses her lips together. “She keeps saying I’m wasting time. That I should be building something stable.”
“So what do you think theatre is?”
She laughs weakly. “According to my mother? A phase.”
“I asked what you think.”
Nothing.
Not even a shrug.
I sigh.
Look. I love Ms. Mckingsley. But the woman is a huge part of all of Zaza’s insecurities. Being around her drains Za in ways that make both of us miserable and all I can do is be encouraging because it’s not my place.
“You know what. You don’t have to answer that right now. Let’s just have fun today. Okay?”
Finally, a sigh.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she admits quietly.
She bumps my arm as reassurance and I’m struck—like I always am—by how much we’ve grown together. How many versions of ourselves we’ve watched each other become.
If she gives up on theatre, it won’t be fair to all the past versions of her that worked so hard to be there and it’ll be because someone convinced her she didn’t deserve to want more.
I swallow with guilt. “You don’t have to find out.”
She squeezes my hand once before pulling away, already wandering toward the next aisle.
“Anyway,” she calls back, “I see a shirtless man on a book cover, so I’m gonna go investigate that.”
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” I ask.
We both look over.
Jabari is slouched in a chair near the magazines, long legs stretched out, flipping through a sports monthly.
His expression says bored through the balaclava.
“I’m not sure you should leave him unsupervised,” I add.
Za waves me off. “He’s a big boy. He can handle himself.”
She disappears down the aisle before I can argue. I watch her go, then glance back at him.
I sigh.
Might as well see what the idiot’s doing. It’s the least I could do. I mean?—
We’ve been in each other’s bed consistently for the past two weeks so that feels earned.
Now, I know what you’re thinking:
