She draws herself up and nods.
“This is who I want to be.”
Chapter one hundred twenty-five
Christianna
Upstairs, the bedroom feels like a sanctuary. The adrenaline of the night fades into something quieter, steadier. A current hums between the three of us, low and undeniable. I stand in the center of the room, still not quite sure where to place myself inside it.
Remy comes to me, confident and comfortable. His hands settle at my hips, grounding me before he lowers himself slowly in front of me. He waits, eyes lifted. I give him the smallest nod.
He slides my leggings down with unhurried care, the fabric whispering over my skin before pooling at my feet. I step free of them, still wrapped in my oversized sweater. His mouth presses a warm kiss to my stomach, then lower, reverent and unhurried, until my breath catches and my knees weaken.
He guides me to the edge of the bed and settles between my thighs. The first touch of his mouth is deliberate, claiming, and my hands clutch the duvet as sensation unravels me. It isn’t rushed. It’s devotion.
My head tips back and my eyes fall open.
Erik stands near the closet, already bare, lamplight tracing the lean lines of him. He isn’t hiding his desire. He’s watching. Naked except for his boxers, which are pushed just below his cock. I stare, mesmerized, and feel drool pooling in my mouth.
I want—no, I need—to rise from the ashes. To do this because I want it, want him. This impossible contradiction of a man.
“Remy,” I manage, my breath unsteady. “Wait.”
He lifts his head immediately, attentive.
I look at Erik. The decision settles in my chest. “I want to try.”
Erik stills. His eyes meet mine, questioning. I lick my lips and nod slowly, deliberately.
Remy understands before either of us can explain. He nudges me up on the bed. “Get on your knees, baby. Scoot towards the edge,” his voice is deep and low, sending a shiver through me and driving my want higher. I do as he says.
Erik steps forward. Close enough for his heat to reach me. His cock stands straight up, even with my mouth. I watch a bead of pre-come drip down its length.
I reach for him, hesitating only a second before letting my fingers close around him. He exhales, sharp and controlled. I lean in, unsure, learning the shape of him. I let my tongue reach out to taste him, flicking at the bead. Salty, a little bitter, but not bad.
He bends it down so it’s parallel to my mouth, but he doesn’t move forward. I inch forward and flick my tongue over the tip. He hisses.
“Sorry,” I whisper, mortified.
His hand slides gently into my hair. “Don’t apologize,” he says, his voice rough. “It’s very intense.”
“In a good way?” I ask, refusing to look at him.
“Yes, I promise, in a very good way,” it sounds like he’s gritting out the words between a clenched jaw.
I lean forward again and take the tip in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it, learning the shape and texture.
Behind me, Remy’s mouth resumes its ministrations. With every cry he draws from me, Erik’s cock slips deeper in my mouth. Still unsure, I try to mimic what Remy is doing to me. When he draws my clit into his mouth, I do the same to Erik. The sensations blur together until I’m trembling between them.
Erik’s hands are clenched at his sides; he’s being so careful not to touch me. I stretch further. I mean, he’s always been proportional, both of them, but when it’s in your mouth like this, it feels bigger. I close my eyes and breathe slowly through my nose, seeing if I can stretch my tongue out to touch his balls.
Remy’s voice comes from behind me. “Baby, you good if I fuck you like this?”
I try to nod, and my teeth slip. Erik jerks back. “Shit, sorry, sorry… and yes,” I say, answering Remy.
I start to lean back in, but Erik puts a hand on my forehead. I look up.
“I’m not going to last much longer,” he says. “Do you want me to pull out? Swallow? This is already the best blowjob I’ve ever had.”
