Longer.
Eleanor: Alex . . . I don’t know where this is going. But I want to keep going.
I closed my eyes, letting the words settle deep — warm and welcome and dangerously hopeful.
Alex: Me too.
Next thing I knew, I had my eyes closed, the image of Eleanor in my head as I stroked myself. It took an embarrassingly short amount of time before I finished in my hand. It was like being a teenager again.
22
ELEANOR
Ihad already dropped Ava off at school and was home in a blessedly quiet house. My mom had left this morning for a shopping trip with her sister. As I got back into the house, I kicked my shoes off by the door and smiled because there would be no one here to tell me to pick up my shoes for the next four days. It would just be me and Ava.
It used to bother me that my mom and sister were so close. It would have bothered me that they were going on this big shopping trip while I was stuck at home. But it didn’t bother me anymore. In fact, I could think of nothing I wanted less than being on that trip with them. No, this house to ourselves was infinitely better than a shopping trip with commentary about everything I did wrong.
As I made my way upstairs, my phone buzzed in my pocket.
Alex.
As we spent the next couple of minutes texting back and forth, it was becoming obvious to me that I was attracted to him. I was attracted to him in a way I hadn't been to anyone in a long time.
By the time we finished texting, it once again struck me. I was in this house — alone — for the first time in I couldn't even remember how long.
I got in the closet and from the hidden pocket in my suitcase I pulled out a little satin bag. It had been a long time since I'd felt the need to do this, but after yesterday and those texts, I decided it was time.
I slipped off my yoga pants and slipped back into bed. I closed my eyes and let images of Alex play in my head. From the first time I'd seen him at the game over a month ago to the way he caught me in his arms yesterday. I'd been drawn to him from that first moment.
I pushed away the guilt as I let my hands slide down my curves. I cupped my breast with one hand, lightly pinching my already hard nipple as I let my other hand go lower.
I was already wet and wanting just from those mostly innocent text messages.
I picked up my vibrator, and before I knew it, I was clenching and riding the wave of my first orgasm in entirely too long.
As I came down, I blew my hair out of my face and got up to get in the shower. I wanted to get a few more pages to my editor.
I had a good feeling about this book. I had a good feeling about Alex. And I was beginning to have a good feeling about joining the Reapers.
How the tides had turned.
I shut off the shower, steam curling around me like a warm cocoon. I was relaxed, loose, humming in a way I hadn’t felt in years.
Being alone in the house . . .
Being able to take up space without tiptoeing . . .
Letting myselfwantsomething . . .
It had all left me feeling lighter. Braver.
I wrapped myself in a towel and wiped a patch of fog from the mirror.
My reflection looked different. Softer. But also, somehow, stronger.
Everything Alex had said echoed in my mind:You are someone worth catching.
I swallowed, heat blooming in my chest.
