“I think that could work. I will think about it, and when I get my advance, we can revisit this discussion.”
“Okay.”
And she settled back into me. I held her close as she relaxed. It may not have gone exactly how I wanted it to, but it was a start. I mean, I didn’t scare her off, so that counted for something.
44
ELEANOR
It had been over a week since Columbus.
In some ways, it felt like a lifetime ago, and in others like it had just happened. My days were full now of practice, bruises, laughter, the dizzying sweetness of Alex. That part of my life felt like a miracle I was still afraid to look at too closely, like it might vanish if I stared.
Home was something else entirely.
I’d found out a few days after the chalk incident that my mom had fired Belle. I’d been furious until Belle texted me, all breezy reassurance, saying it was fine, the agency had already reassigned her to another house. She hadn’t been hurt by it. But I had. It was just one more reminder of how casually my mother could erase people from our lives.
And she hadn’t spoken to me since.
The silent treatment was nothing new. I’d grown up with it, days, sometimes weeks, of being treated like I didn’t exist. It was her favorite punishment. Strangely, it didn’t even bother me anymore. I didn’t particularly want to talk to her.
But it confused Ava.
That was what made it unbearable.
Ava kept asking why Grandma was mad, what she’d done wrong, and when it would go back to normal. I had no good answers for her, and watching her twist herself into knots trying to understand something that had nothing to do with her made something in me harden.
I found myself thinking more and more about the empty duplex next to Alex’s.
About space. About peace. About what it might feel like to live somewhere that didn’t come with constant emotional landmines.
It felt fast. Too fast, maybe. But it also felt like oxygen. I was ready. I just needed my advance to hit my account.
Practice was the one place where my brain finally shut up.
Mel was running jammer drills, slicing through the pack with sharp, efficient movements, while Belle skated beside me, calling out formations and positions like a battlefield commander.
“Wall up. Two to the outside. Don’t chase—hold the line,” she barked.
I loved it. I loved the strategy, the movement, the way my body and my brain had to work together. I felt strong. I felt powerful. I felt like I was finally learning the language of this new world.
Ava sat on the sidelines with her headphones on, legs tucked under her, drawing in her sketchbook. Every once in a while, she’d look up and grin at me, like she was proud of me just for being out there.
Even with all the chaos at home, she was thriving again.
That thought distracted me just long enough for Belle to hip check me cleanly to the floor.
I skidded, laughing and groaning at the same time, as Mel flew past. “Eyes up, rookie!” she called over her shoulder.
“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, pushing myself back up.
Derby didn’t care what else was going on in my life.
The next time I glanced over at the sidelines, Ava wasn’t alone. Alex was sitting beside her, leaning in as she showed him something in her sketchbook. She looked up, caught my eye, and smiled, bright and easy.
My chest went warm, and I immediately took another hit because of it.
“Focus,” I muttered to myself, laughing as I pushed back into the pack.
