“Mary, you didn’t know.” Sue reached across to try and comfort her.
“I said no!” Mary screeched. “I’m sorry. Jenkins was right. I’m tired of chasing, working, and fighting. I just want to spend my time here, maybe have a chance to sit outside. I could watch the shadows like I used to do.”
Mary felt the hole inside her grow, the hole she now knew to be where her daughter Jane should have been. She had Lizzie, but it would never replace not knowing Jane. Her face tilted down, and her body continued to convulse as micro sobs surfaced.
Sue pressed her lips into a line. “Sure, Mary, if that’s what you want.”
A few weeks later,Mary sat at the desk in her new room, no padded walls, and she was given access to use the public restroom. Sue was even able to convince the hospital to give her an upgraded room, one with a view of the lake beyond the fenced in yard.
Lush forests surrounded the lake, and Mary enjoyed both being outside enjoying the views and sitting here at her desk writing, just as she had always wanted to do. For perhaps the first time, her time was her own.
A blank piece of paper laid before her, and she thought back over her life, trying to find the right words to say. A stack of crisp paper sat nestled in the corner of the desk, all filled in with the story of her life: the true story.
The wastepaper basket at her feet overflowed with balled up pieces of paper. None of them captured what she truly wanted to explain.
She looked out over the lake and watched as the sun danced along the surface. It took her a moment to realize she recognized the blue shimmer of light floating above the water’s surface.
She stared at it a few moments longer before bringing her pen to the page.
My dearest Jenkins …
THE END
