Sue pursed her lips together, and her brow furrowed. “No, Miss. I am instructed to only attend to your needs and nothing further. I will bring meals to your room and shall escort you around the top deck should you require fresh air during the day.”
Mary’s shoulders sagged briefly.So much for being jolly,she thought miserably.
Sue opened a soft looking wooden door and disappeared with Mary following closely behind. Her cabin was dark and damp, smelling of salt and rotting wood. The pile of suitcases and trunks, with all her belongings, were shoved in the far corner away from the door.
After a small turn about the room she paused by her luggage and then the ship lurched as it was released from the confines of the dock. Mary caught herself against the stack of suitcases that already had a layer of damp liquid causing her hand to slide across the surface.
Not yet, I am not ready yet!
She rushed back out to the deck, wanting one last look of her parents and London. The idea that this was goodbye forever was too much for her to handle in the stuffiness of her room. The railing of the ship was strong and held her weight as she gripped it.
Mary’s mother’s arms were wrapped around herself, and her tears flowed freely and unabashedly. Her father’s back was his final farewell as he walked to the awaiting carriage.
What is my purpose now that I’ve been sold off like a precious jewel that was worth a great deal of money?In truth, this was what she was raised to do. Now that she was here, her soul longed for a new purpose.
The ship began its turn toward the open ocean, and Mary watched as her mother turned to join her father. There were no final waves, no indication they would see each other again, just a sad, final goodbye.
“Would you like to go to the back of the ship to watch the city disappear behind us?” Mary jumped as Sue appeared there, ready to escort her.
“No, I want to remember it the way it is: big buildings, and sprawling streets. I think I will take some afternoon tea in my cabin. I want to get out of the cold.”
Mary retraced the steps back to her room. It took a minute for her eyes to adjust fully. She removed her fur-lined gloves and placed them gently on the small dresser. Sue entered the room and slammed the door shut before the ship tilted slightly, causing them both to grab hold of something sturdy.
“Shall I help you unpack your suitcases?” The ship heaved again, and Sue tumbled against Mary.
“I think it best to leave things where they are for now.”
“Well at least let me take your coat.”
Mary tugged the coat tighter to her body. “No, thank you. I am still a bit chilly from the weather and do not wish to catch a cold.”
“Okay, Miss. Just find me if you do need any assistance.”
Mary thought about what assistance she really needed. Anger boiled up and she wanted to unleash it all on this small, grumpy woman. Instead, she chose a more dignified approach.
“Actually, I do need assistance. Help me go back in time and change my fate. Stop me from loving a man who wouldeventually lead me down a path I never signed up for, so that I can live out all my days in London.”
Sue smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her wrinkled eyes. “I’ll see what I can do.” Then, she abruptly left.
Finally alone, Mary leaned up against the dresser and assessed the layout of her home for the next couple of months.
A small bed, with a hand sewn quilt folded at the foot end, was positioned across from her. The trunks and suitcases were stacked neatly in the corner adjacent to the bed.
Her travel items would need to be found and unpacked. To her left revealed was a room divider, likely hiding a chamber pot for personal use.
The vanity held a three-piece mirror and space for any beauty products she would require. After looking around the room, the decision was made to save as many beauty products as possible until she landed.
No one to impress on this voyage,she thought. In a moment, she stumbled forward, collapsing in the chair, the weight of the realization and the motion of the ship caused her stomach to churn.
She pulled out Eduard’s final letter, reading it over and over. The same pain coursed through her as she read the words meant to release her from their engagement.
Mary folded the letter carefully. Her father would have never allowed it. He had sold her off to help his business, the money was spent before it even reached his pockets.
After sitting silently at the table a few more minutes she finally crumpled the letter and threw it away from her. The small, crinkled ball sat on the floor reflecting how she felt on the inside: broken and thrown away.
What will be my purpose now? I fulfilled my duty to my family, and what do I have to show for it? I have been cast asideand forgotten like an old tea bag. I’m completely, hopelessly powerless.
The tear held her eye hostage as it threatened to fall, imposing a sense of finality to her situation. She allowed herself to feel the full weight of what the tear meant. Finally, she blinked hard, allowing herself to cascade into the depths of despair.
