He would never agree. I just need to find someone near the dock. Someone planning to head to London. Perhaps we can visit New York City, and I can find a wealthy woman to switch with. The worst thing that could happen from trying is, nothing, and I go back to my life with Eduard.
Mary stood, determined to either convince Eduard they needed to return to London together or to find someone to try the switch with.
Later that evening,she stood in the kitchen, reading over a recipe and stirring the new stew concoction she was attempting. The apple pie she successfully baked, sat in the middle of the dining table. The heat from the stove warmed her midsection and she brought her hand protectively to her belly.
Eduard walked in, dust and dirt covering his pants and shirt. Mary watched as he removed his boots, hat, and vest. He was such a handsome man, and they would have ruled society had they remained in London.
More of a reason to convince him to go back,Mary considered as she resumed stirring.
“Smells good darling! Is that a new recipe?” He sauntered towards Mary hoping to get a quick taste of supper.
“Yes, it was one given to me shortly after our wedding, from our neighbors to the east. I haven’t had all the ingredients until now.” She shrugged. “It should be good.”
Eduard hugged Mary from behind, placing his hands gently on her growing bump.
“I am sure it is a boy. I can feel it in my bones.” Keeping one hand on her belly, he used the other to brush her hair from her neck. His lips met the knape of her neck and Mary stiffened slightly.
Will I ever get used to his affection? Do I want to?she questioned. What she enjoyed on their honeymoon had quickly withered with the reality of being a farmer’s wife. Her deep-rooted resentment prevented her from opening her heart to him.
“Hmmm…” was all she could reply as she returned back to the stew she prepared.
Eduard made his way to the basin to wash up for supper, unaware of Mary’s sour mood. It was her normal state, so he was used to her cool temperament.
“Don’t be praying to God that it is a girl. You know I could use a son out in the field. My hired hand is good, but if we could save that money, then I could buy the piece of land that connects ours to the river.”
“You know I don’t pray to your God,” she said. “I just take what information I can see and hope for the best.” He came backover and resumed his stance behind her with his hands on her belly, chin resting on her shoulder.
“Yeah?” He asked, and she stopped stirring to face him. He brushed the strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “What information have you collected, and what are you hoping for?” His deep brown eyes sparkled as he searched hers.
After a few moments of silence, he took a couple steps back and leaned his body up against the table. She took a deep breath, “Well, I am hoping that the “larger-than-London” city I was promised explodes out of the ground.” Mary got louder with each word. “Then I can stop eating these disgusting meals that the better-than-me-wives keep recommending!” She was yelling now, and didn’t care if the neighbors heard.
Eduard inhaled sharply. Shock spread across his face at the sudden change in the conversation. She didn’t wait to allow him a chance to respond as she kept yelling.
“Do you think I wanted this?” She threw her arms in the air, indicating that she was referring to everything in America. Mary pressed a finger into his chest, snapping viciously at him. “I left my family’s mansion and crossed an ocean to find you settled on a measly farm with a small cabin barely big enough for the two of us.”
“Well, I thought you wanted … me.” His voice was small, full of sadness as his expression met her anger. She saw the desperation in his eyes, searching hers for any confirmation of her love for him.
“I did want you, but back home in a brick house with a full staff. I wanted you, with a steady job that made us an easy fortune.” Her eyes implored, pleading with the man she fell in love with. “We were supposed to be surrounded by our friends and family, not living in the woods surrounded by strangers and unlimited dangers. I want to go back to London.”
“I…” He started, then looked down at his hands, unable to meet her begging eyes. “I told you in my final letter you could be released from the engagement.”
“I had no choice, Eduard. You know that. The moment I agreed to marry you our families practically merged their businesses together. There was no way I could walk away from that.”
“This is who I am, Mary. I thought that you would love to get away from the control of your family. I needed to get away from mine as well.”
“What do you mean?” This was the first time Eduard had spoken against his family at all. Her breathing came in shallow huffs as she worked to catch her breath. Sweat dripped down her legs, driven slowly out of her body, fueled by the anger that was seething beneath the surface. She watched him, waiting for what he would say for himself.
Eduard moved towards the solid wood chair in the corner and slumped down. His handsome face, etched with worry, dropped into his waiting hands.
How did we get here? Just a broken woman, breaking a man. If only we had stayed in London. He knows that money means security and comfort. How could he expect me to live like this?
She considered giving him pity and comforting him, apologizing even. But all pity she had she reserved for herself. She was the real victim here, if anyone needed to apologize it was him.
The child she now carried was just a new shackle to this life sentence. Another reminder of the decisions she had made to get to this point. No, the blame was not on her. He had made her promises and failed to keep them.
The silence between them hung heavy in the air, and choked her senses, as though the room was filled with invisible smoke. Her eyes burned as she fought back threatening tears.
Why won’t he say something? He won’t even look at me! Coward!Her chest tightened as her anger burned like a wildfire in her heart.
