“Elizabeth?” the maid said, putting a finger on her chin, her eyes narrowed in contemplation. “Nay, I havenae seen her since dinner. Perhaps she’s in bed? I ken Annabeth likes to tuck her in quite early.”
“Aye, but she asked me to watch the stars with her,” Flora said, fidgeting with her fingers. “I’m worried that she may have gone out on her own.”
“I assure ye that if she had, the guards would ken,” the maid said before politely going on her way.
I suppose I’ll wait another ten minutes. If she doesnae arrive, I’ll have to assume that she dinnae ask Annabeth first.
Just before she gave up on waiting, heavy footsteps approached from behind. Flora turned around slowly, already knowing whose they belonged to. She thought that perhaps she shouldn’t be surprised that Lucas found her.
“I suppose Elizabeth asked ye to stargaze as well,” Lucas said, looking around the entrance hall. “And she hasnae arrived.”
“Ye’re correct,” she replied, holding herself stiff. She wasn’t sure what to say to him now that they were alone. It felt as if the universe itself was conspiring against her. “I daenae think she’s comin’.”
“Ach, it seems as if she’s nae,” Lucas agreed. He came to a stop next to her, his arms crossed over his chest. Finally, he said, “Well, since we’re already here, we may as well go stargaze. The sky is clear, and the moon is full. It would be a waste of a nice opportunity.”
A protest began to form on her lips, but she stopped it from escaping. The part of her that was curious about Lucas and what spending time with him might bring was insistent. If she said yes now and things went poorly, she would have reason to continue avoiding him. And, if it went well…
“Aye,” she agreed, noting the way his shoulders seemed to relax a bit. “It would be a waste of an opportunity. And I daenae think Elizabeth is comin’.”
“It seems that we’ve been tricked,” Lucas said, gesturing for Flora to walk with him. “I cannae say I understand her reasonin’, though.”
“Perhaps she thought it would be funny,” Flora muttered under her breath as she followed Lucas out of the castle.
“That does sound like her,” he argued, chuckling. As they walked further from the castle, he offered Flora his arm. “Ye’ll want to be careful, lass. The ground is a bit uneven. I wouldnae want ye trippin’.”
Without thinking too much, she threaded her arm with his, allowing herself to be led through the darkness. She could feel his strength, the bulge of his muscles, as they moved. Part of her wanted to squeeze and see just how solid the Laird was.
“Are we goin’ to the loch?” Flora asked, squinting into the darkness.
“Nay,” he said immediately, harshly. Then, softer, Lucas added, “Nay. It’s nae safe to get too close to the water when the sun is nae out.”
Flora made a soft sound before hesitantly asking, “Ye’re afraid of the loch?”
“That’s nae it,” he said, slowing their pace. “I just ken the dangers it poses. Especially to people who cannae swim.”
“That’s why ye dinnae want Elizabeth there,” she muttered as the picture of him began to fully form. “Did somethin’ happen?”
Lucas stopped abruptly, swallowing audibly. When he turned to look at her, she could see years of pain in his gray gaze, an internal conflict that was trying to stay hidden. Finally, he said, “Aye. Years ago, me son Leo drowned in this loch. He fell in when nae one was lookin’. Even though we got him out, he dinnae survive.”
“Lucas…” she breathed, tightening her hold on him. She was at a loss, unsure of how to comfort someone who had experienced such a tragedy.
“His maither blamed me,” he continued, his gaze drifting up toward the sky. He shifted slightly, as if speaking the words aloud was a physical ache. “A few weeks after his funeral, she took her own life. She couldnae take livin’ in a world without him, especially nae in a world where I was still breathin’.”
Flora’s breath caught. Despite having endured so many horrors, that pain was something she couldn’t comprehend. It was bone deep, the kind of thing that he carried in his marrow with him every day of his life. She gazed upon his profile, catching glimpses of the old hurt, realizing that they were there even when he was at rest.
“I wish I kent what to say. The only thing I can do is offer ye me condolences and apologize for how horribly that must have scarred ye,” she said, the words feeling horribly insufficient. She laced her fingers together before releasing them, fidgeting with energy that had nowhere to go. “I cannae imagine how difficult it must have been.”
“There’s nay need for yer apologies,” Lucas said with a sigh. Almost reluctantly, he said, “There was nay stoppin’ either of those things. Only someone who could see into the future could have kent what would happen. Leo left the castle on his own with nay one watchin’ after him. Maggie made her choice and wouldnae have been swayed otherwise. She hated bein’ in a political marriage, and Leo’s passin’ made it too much to bear.”
He scoffed at a thought he didn’t voice then. Even though he’d just opened up, it seemed as if he were trying to close himself off once more. She didn’t want that. She liked knowing that there was more to him than the stony exterior he projected to everyone else.
“That still doesnae make it any easier,” Flora argued, finally seeing the man beneath the Laird. She understood with sharp clarity why he wouldn’t force Matthew into a strategic marriage.“I think that may make it more difficult, kennin’ that things were always out of yer control.”
“Ye’re right. It doesnae, but I’ve used all of that hardship to do good for those around me,” he said, leading her forward once more. The stiffness in his gait was still there, but he walked with a newfound ease. “After I rescued Elizabeth, I kent that me true purpose was helpin’ those that cannae help themselves. I may have failed me son and me late wife, but I can ensure nay one is else is failed in that way.”
“Ye’re doin’ a great job.” Again, her words fell short of the true depth of her meaning. She didn’t know how to tell him that what he was doing was admirable, that he’d likely saved more lives than he was aware of. Nor did she know how to express what it meant to her that he was willing to share this with her. “If it werenae for ye, I daenae ken if I’d still be breathin’.”
“Ye would.” He looked down at her, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. “Ye’re nae the kind of woman to give up. I meant what I said about ye bein’ a fighter.”
