This might be the one place where I could find someone who would tend to my wants. To my dark, dirty secret. To my need for something… rougher.
I realized in college that normal sex, no matter how hot the woman was, wouldn’t cut it for me. I wanted more.
And since there was only one person in my mind every single time I came, her harsh, gruff words still very present for me, I knew where that specific need came from.
I’d never like you. You’re a fucking bully, I once told her.
Liar.
But here… I didn’t think I needed to worry about anyone looking at me oddly or judging me for what I was into.
She gave me a mini tour of the place, and my mind was swimming with possibility. I saw three or more people together in one of the viewing rooms. Impact play. Suspension. Piercing.
It was heaven for someone like me, and by the time we got to the almost empty room for the auction, I was actually getting excitedabout it.
Other girls were already sitting in the audience, talking amongst themselves. The hostess sat me down next to a girl named Juliette, who seemed to be just as on edge as I was, and I saw the way she flinched, giving away the fact that she introduced herself with her true name instead of her alias.
She had beautiful blonde hair and wore an elegant dress that put mine to shame.
“I'm nervous,” she said, her voice with a little shake to it. “I'm afraid no one will buy me.”
She let out a nervous laugh, and I couldn’t help but smile. That was my main fear as well. Getting up there in front of an audience full of people and not one of them giving a damn.
My entire life, I felt like I was invisible. Not that people couldn’t see me, but like they wanted to ignore me on purpose. That they could tell I wasn't worth their time with just one look.
My parents. Kids at school. Her.
No, not her.
After a while, I started to like the shadows. Before I knew it, I was scared to step out of them. I changed from a talkative child who was excited to meet new people to someone who couldn't even hold a conversation with a stranger or even look them in the eye.
I had a few friends, but mostly because they pitied me. They never truly cared about me. Never saw me the way I yearned to be seen.
I had been lonely back then, and I was lonely now. I thought college would change things, but I was quickly proven wrong. The universe put me back into my place in the shadows.
If I didn’t need the money, I would probably stay hidden, protecting myself as much as possible.
Don’t be a coward. The Pearl Meadows I know is no coward.
No matter how scared I was, that line always came back to me. My high school bully said it, and maybe I shouldn’t go back to it. But I couldn't forget it.
And neither could I forget another thing she told me that night.
You think you’re invisible, that no one cares or sees you. But I…
I liked to think that she did see me. That maybe she was the only person who did. Even if she never did finish that sentence.
“Me too,” I finally told Juliette. “How humiliating would it be to just stand up there with no bids?”
“Now, now, relax. Club Pétale would never let that happen. After all, we have a reputation to uphold, don’t we?”
The comment came from a tall girl with silver-dyed hair that was slicked back and shaven on the sides. My eyes were instantly drawn to her multiple piercings and all her dark tattoos.
Just like everyone in the club, she was breathtaking. But her easygoing nature made me feel comforted. The longer I was there and the more people I met, the readier I was to put myself up for auction.
Her name was Sloan, and her boss was Ax, a woman who had a resting bitch face so powerful that all the nerves from before came back with a vengeance. So it helped that Sloan made sure to let us know that our experience here mattered. It wasn’t just about the people who would be bidding for us.
Sloan's wife, who she introduced as Lillian, was the one who took the pictures all around the club. I was in awe at how talented she was and also taken aback at the chance to be featured in one of them since she’d be photographing the event.
