“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Thank you for not leaving me.”
My emotions have shifted so fiercely that I'm barely hanging on from the whiplash, but I need him to know. To know how much I appreciate him. His friendship. His massive heart and that radiant smile that fixes my worst days. The quiet comfort he provides, and the patience he’s taught me to grant myself too.
“Never, Adhira. I'llneverleave you. Not as long as you want me around.”
The cruelty of that promise settles in, mingling with the understanding that I want his words to ring true. I don't ever want him to leave me—to stop wanting me. But what if my next scans don't yield the results I so desperately need? What if weboth want each other, but I'm not around to make sure he knows it?
“Breathe, baby. Please, take a breath.” Warm palms press against my cheeks, my lids falling shut as I draw in a breath. “What's going on, sweetheart?”
Tears stain my cheeks, and he runs his thumbs beneath my eyes to wipe them away, but they won't stop.
“I–I think I'll always want you around, Elijah.” A sob tears free. “But what if I'm not here to give you that future?”
I blink my eyes open, lashes heavy with tears as I gaze into his water-logged eyes. His lip quivers, and he clenches his eyes shut, choking on a sob.
Few things have ever hurt the way watching this man fall apart does. I latch onto him, clutching him to my chest as tightly as I can, giving him the kind of comfort he so clearly needs.
He presses his face to my shoulder and cries with me—for a future I’m only just allowing myself to want, and realising I may never be able to give him.
“I'm so sorry,” I murmur, running my fingers through his waves. “I'm so,sosorry.”
His only answer is his hold tightening around me and the breath that heaves from his lungs.
When his breaths start to even out and the tears on my cheeks have dried, I sit up, grasping his hand and tugging him with me. He follows me to the bathroom, sitting on the closed toilet lid when I instruct him to.
I turn on the shower, making sure the water is warm enough before I approach him. Standing between his legs, I grip his chin and tilt his head back so he has to look up at me.
“I can't promise you a future, Elijah. Not yet.” He blinks back new tears. “But I can promise not to hold back anymore. To make sure you know just how much I want you around. And to take care of you like you care for everyone else.”
He winds his arms around my waist and presses his cheek to my belly. “I’ll take anything you’re willing to give me, Adhira. I think I've been yours since the first moment we met.”
“It was the bunny slippers, wasn't it?” I tease.
He shakes his head. “Nope. Definitely your cute little scowl.” His chuckle is low and watery, and it tears a fissure through my heart.
This man deserves every ounce of happiness the world has to offer, and if I’m the one he wants to provide that for him, I'm determined to do so with whatever time I have left. Whether that be one year or a hundred.
Because even if I don’t yet have the right words for this light, warm, and soft feeling in my chest, I do know that even when I'm dying, Elijah has always made me feel alive. I'd love nothing more than to give him a taste of that too.
“Lift your arms.”
He complies, and I tug on the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head and exposing all of his taut, suntanned muscles.
“Now stand.”
Again, he makes no argument, towering over me.
My hands tremble as I raise them to his waistband, his hands falling over mine and halting my movements.
“Adhira.” The word is barely a breath.
“We're both a mess, and the hot water will help us sleep.” I meet his gaze as his hands fall away, providing silent consent. “Let me take care of you.”
“Thank you,” he whispers.
I make quick work of tugging his shorts over his hips and down his muscular thighs, leaving him in nothing but his black briefs before stripping down to my knickers.
