Chapter 31
Magnus
Vacations are evil.Absolutely evil. Getting back into a routine after spending days with Trent swimming, sleeping, eating, and hanging out is more of a challenge than I expected. Trent gave us a day and a half to get used to being back in the dorm before getting back to the school schedule, but it’s Thursday and I’m still feeling listless.
My work-school life is jam packed with teaching, studying, and research, and for some reason, I’m not feeling the usual amount of motivation I have to get everything done. I’m behind on grading, and that never happens. Granted, no one is expecting their homework back this week, but something is bothering me, which is why I’m grateful that I booked a double session with Theresa. I have a lot to work through, and one hour didn’t seem like it would be enough time, so she graciously agreed to work through her lunch with me as long as I brought my own lunch, too.
Sitting across from her with the coffee table between us while we talk and eat is comfortable for me because it helps me visualize my own humanity in reference to another human.
“Tell me what made you book a session,” she invites me as she scoops up some salad onto her fork.
“I was in Cancun with Trent”—she knows the names of all the important people in my life—“and there were some feelings that I need to work through so I can process them better. He and I were talking about PDA, and I got really possessive of him all of the sudden. It was an unhealthy amount of possessiveness. In my head, I decided that no one else can touch him the way I do because it would cheapen the value of the permissions I have. It’s terrible, because that’s exactly the way I feel about some of my work.”
“What work is that?” she asks, genuinely curious.
“Not the group research I do. I’m ok with other researchers aiding me even if I’m heading the project, but I won’t let anyone touch my private research. The personal projects I do that don’t have as much at stake.”
“Like what?”
Three different answers come easily. “When I organized the funding and plans for the new student center, I wouldn’t let anyone else touch the project until it was in motion, and then I only allowed the professionals to do their part of the work under my supervision. The architects and builders complained noisily about me. Two years ago I planned, fundraised, organized, executed, and distributed the curriculum currently being used by the STEM Club Project.”
The look she gives me tells me that I didn’t mention this to her, and thinking about it, I believe I may have stopped seeing her while I focused on that project.
I explain. “SCP is a national middle school and high school club that encourages students to explore the possibilities in STEM fields of study. I wrote three years of curriculum for grades six through eight and four years of curriculum for grades nine to twelve. I fundraised to pay for state and national competitions for the next decade, and I created a grant program that focuses on funding SCP in low-income school districts. Imade that club into something, and I didn’t let anyone put their grubby hands on it before I was ready to release it into the hands of the capable and competent people who run the organization now.”
“You’re very possessive about your passion projects,” she points out, and I nod, scooping a bite of the orange chicken I brought with me. “Do you think of Trent as a passion project?”
I consider the question as I finish my bite and take a sip of water to clear my mouth. “Maybe. We are working together on the adult content project, but we’re doing that so that we can live together next year and pay for school. It’s a passion project for certain, because I want to live off campus, but Trent himself isn’t a project. He’s my closest friend, and of course we’re closer now than we were since we’re in a sexual relationship now, too, but again, that’s for our work together. We’re not actually dating, well… I suppose we are dating, butagain, that’s for work. Also, even though I trust him implicitly, every time we try something new for work, I get nervous and feel vulnerable. He always soothes me, and I may not be delineating between friendship and work as well as I should.” I think about that, deciding that maybe I’ve conflated our friendship and our work partnership.
“It’s difficult to keep the line between friendship and romantic partner separate when you’re in a sexual relationship with someone. Are you having sex with anyone else besides Trent?”
“No, we decided to be exclusive so that we didn’t have to use condoms. We’re both getting tested every six weeks, and we’re on Prep, but our testing is negative for everything we’re testing for, and I doubt that’ll change. Trent says that he isn’t willing to put effort into a relationship with anyone else until he’s done with school, and I—” I stop to think about my motives right now, and the only thing that I can say is, “I’m not interested in pursuing romance with anyone else right now. I’m satisfied withmy life and don’t think that adding a budding romance would enhance it.”
Theresa smiles softly at me. “I’m really glad you’re happy with where you are in life right now, Magnus, but I think it would be remiss of me not to point out that you are in a budding romance with Trent. It may be framed around a work project, but the circumstances are there and the emotions as well.”
“The emotions?” I’m taken aback because I don’t think I’ve told her about any emotions that could be interpreted as the beginning stages of a romantic entanglement. “What emotions?”
Theresa has a professional smile that she wears when she’s with me. I like it because it’s warm and welcoming, but her natural smile is much more interesting, though I see it less often. Right now, the amusement in her eyes is something I both value, because her natural smile breaks loose, and am confused by, because I don’t understand what I said to make her smile like that.
“I know that you don’t often interpret your own feelings accurately, so I want you to think about what you’ve said as if a stranger had told you. John is nervous when he’s around Marybell, but Marybell knows exactly what he needs to soothe the nerves. They’re only seeing each other, and they’re dating but they only do that for work. They go on vacations together, for work, of course, and they’re really good friends. John tells you that he and Marybell love each other. What analysis would you make about that?”
Oh. I see. “Yes, I can see why you would suggest I’m in a budding romance.” I don’t know what else to say. I’m not even sure how to react. Does Trent realize that we’re well on our way to romantic love? Am I opposed to this? Trent said he didn’t want a relationship, but maybe since we’re already in one he wouldn’t be opposed to having one with me. I’m not sure, but maybe I should test this theory before bringing it up.
“Of course, I’ll have to talk to him about this,” I say, even though I’m not sure that Theresa has said anything since I realized she’s right.
I don’t think I need the rest of the time I booked with her, but there’s other things to talk about, so setting aside the fact that I’m in a relationship and didn’t know it, I bring up the other things that have been on my mind, and Theresa takes the change of subject with the same professional aplomb she always does.
Chapter 32
Trent
I was right.No one believes we’re platonic friends now that they’ve seen me jerking Magnus off. Not that what I did could be considered a jerk, or even a really good handy. That was sex. Plain and simple, but not vanilla. The nipple play puts it in the realm of French vanilla, at least, but no matter what you call it, I played with him, drove him wild, and made him orgasm, and that wasnota jerk off session.
The comments have escalated over the last few weeks since we posted that, and while we have posted other videos, each of us individually, and one more a few nights ago of me touching Magnus, the first video of us together has been our most popular video by far. Magnus is going to see these comments, if he hasn’t already, and then we’re going to have to strategize, because coming out as a couple is something we have to do eventually, and we have that video scripted, but it’s not on the agenda for more than a year.
Sometimes I think for all the brains between us, we’re complete morons. We probably should have planned for our own interpersonal development and growth and factored that into our game plan. However, that being true, the fact is that we’re making enough month to month to outright buy a housenow so that we can move in at the end of the semester, and that was the whole point of this thing; we’re supposed to be working enough to support ourselves as we finish school.
I’m not going to be an adult content creator my entire life. I don’t plan to keep making content after I get myself into a professional job in my field. This is a temporary financial situation, and the fact is, we’re well beyond the growth curve we projected for ourselves. We could speed everything up. That is an option we have right now. If we go by the projected growth curve and where we’re supposed to be, we should be planning our first time with penetration. Magnus should be using plugs regularly in preparation of that.
