I let my tears fall, sniffling my misery even as I open myself up to the energy around me. It’s free for the taking. I can do this.
I gag at the taste of sour sweat and misery. There’s a hint of unwashed socks and pineapple in vinegar.
My entire body rejects the energy, and I grab the bucket by the bed, vomiting the energy I metabolized in the three seconds I opened myself up to the others.
Ugh. So fucking gross.
I hate this.
I suck in a few deep breaths, collapsing back onto my mattress. I’d almost rather starve, but Sin needs me to do better, so I steel myself for the onslaught of nastiness and do it again.
Someday I won’t vomit at the taste of anyone besides Sin, and he’s going to learn to love someone besides me. I’ll make sure of it. I’m not going to be selfish anymore.
Present Day
Phineas
“Momma, why does Phineas have a mate mark like yours?” That completely uncensored question comes from five-year-old Soledad, one of the students I’ve just spent the morning teaching the stories of our people.
Out of the mouth of babes.
As much as I want Gael’s mark on me, I’m grateful he hasn’t felt the instinct to bite me yet. The stares directed at Sin’s mate mark are already overwhelming; it would be unbearable if I had two on me. My people are monogamous. They never deviate from monogamy, at least not to my knowledge. Who knows what people do in private?
If they saw me with two mate marks, things would go off the rails way more than they already are. No one except my grandfather and Anja ever expected me to be the one taking the mark, and especially not from a man who isn’t in the clan. I think they would be less surprised if I’d taken it from one of our people, because at least that would explain why I’m the one bitten rather than the one biting.
Instead of ignoring the way Soledad’s question suddenly silences everyone in the room, I kneel before the little one and give her a gentle smile. “I’ll tell you, if you want to know, Soledad.”
She nods. “Yes please,” she agrees, reaching out to touch the scar on my neck curiously.
I tilt my head a little so she can see it clearly. “It’s because I fell in love with a man named Sin, and he fell in love with me.He’s my fated mate, and when it was time for my mark, he bit me so I would have this scar. Someday maybe you’ll find your fated mate too, and maybe you’ll mark that person or they will mark you. It will be a symbol of your bond for everyone to see.”
Soledad frowns in concentration, staring at my mark. “I’m going to be the one marking my mate,” she decides firmly.
Her mother casts me a worried look. “Oh honey. Girls don’t?—”
I hold up my hand to stop her from saying something cruel to the aspirations of her daughter. “Girls can, and Soledad will if that’s what makes sense for her and her mate.”
Soledad nods decisively. “I’m a good biter,” she tells me, snapping her teeth to show me. “But I don’t bite people. Just food. And my toes.”
I chuckle, patting the girl on her head. “Maybe we don’t tell everyone that we put our feet in our mouth, eh?”
Soledad shrugs. “Toenails get too long.”
Gross. Kids are so nasty.
Soledad’s mom grimaces. “I find sometimes it’s better if you don’t look.”
The other parents all laugh with her, confirming their agreement with that sentiment.
After everyone leaves, Anja wraps her arm around my waist, leaning into me. “You’re lucky Arden wasn’t here. He would have beaten you for telling that girl she could mark her mate instead of taking the mate mark.”
I grunt in agreement. “She doesn’t deserve to have her dreams shattered this young.”
Anja sighs and turns her face to press a kiss to my bicep. “No one deserves to have their dreams shattered. Not Soledad, not me, and not you. I’m just sorry that I can’t stop him from making your life miserable because of who fate gave you.”
I draw in a deep breath and release it along with all my fear for the future. The fear will return, but it’s time to go home, and I’m not taking the burdens of the clan back to Sin and Gael. “He can’t take my mates away from me. Fate won’t allow him any power over our destiny, and that’s enough for now.”
Anja kisses my cheek this time. “Go home and enjoy your evening with your mates. I’ll keep him busy if he gets in a mood about your absence.”
