The server returns, carrying a lamb entree with some pretty green beans and a side of pesto pasta.
I release Darcy’s hand. “Is that why you’re not into relationships? You already found the love of your life thousands of years ago, and you don't want to experience that kind of heartache ever again?”
Darcy narrows his kohl lined eyes, studies me for a moment, and the expression morphs into genuine surprise. “If anyone else had asked that, I’d think they were making fun of me.”
“If someone asks that to make fun of you, you need a change of company. Heartache is a wholeass thing, and no one needs anyone in their lives who doesn’t understand it.” How cruel does someone have to be to make fun of a guy who lost his heart?
“I loved Mila, but the ache of that loss is gone now. I don’t do relationships because they’re too fleeting.”
The lamb is delicious, so I don’t hurry to clear my bite, and it gives us both some time to let the conversation lull. “I think it would be hard to be in a relationship for twenty five years. My parents love each other, and they’re friends, but they’re not the kind of been-together-twenty-five-years that’s couple goals, you know? They barely talk to each other because they’ve run out of things to say. They love each other—and me—and they’re not on the verge of divorce or anything, but they’re not the kind of relationship that people romanticize. I’m not sure the romanticized version is even possible.”
Darcy snorts, shaking his head. “I’m going to have to introduce you to the Patervulpises. They’ve been married longer than I’ve been alive and they are the kind of romantic relationship goals that people want. I think their secret is they genuinely like each other, they obsess about the same thing, and their bed is open to anyone they want to fuck. Dakota will bang anything with three legs, and the rest of them enjoy watching him do it. That man is a true monster-fucker.”
I can’t help the smile that cracks my lips. “Three legs specifically? Or are there exceptions?”
Darcy chuckles. “There are always exceptions, but he does prefer cock to cunt.”
“Maybe you should introduce us sooner rather than later,” I suggest with a leer.
Darcy leers back. “As soon as I’ve gotten my fill of you, Peach. How’s that?”
“Sounds good to me.”
14
After the entree, we’re given a palate cleanser in the form of a sorbet. It’s just a couple of bites, but it’s delicious, then comes a dessert wine that’s so sweet, I’m about to ask where I can get it, but Darcy assures me that this particular brand is only available for several hundred dollars per bottle and that the best I can do in the states is Moscato.
I’m going to try Moscato as soon as I get home. Well, I’ll pick up a bottle the next time I go grocery shopping.
As we’re enjoying a pastry dessert that’s light and fluffy, there’s a shout from the street below. We both glance over to see a woman throwing up her hands as a man runs down the street with what I assume is her purse.
Darcy jumps up, flicks his fingers toward the purse snatcher, and rumbles a curse. A second later, the guy faceplants into the road, and a car runs him over.
“That’s not what I expected for an after dinner show.”
Darcy drains his glass of wine and winks at me. “Karma’s a bitch. I’m karma, by the way.”
I laugh at that, but Darcy’s face tells me that he’s not actually joking. “Really?”
He waves a dismissive hand. “Yes, sort of. We talked about choices before, remember? I’m the person in charge of ensuring your choices bring a net neutral until the universal balance is restored.“ He pauses, glancing at the scene below where the purse snatcher is no longer moving and the woman has regained her purse. The person who hit the guy is yelling at him for falling into the road, and the sirens of the incoming aid let us know that they’ll all be ok. Maybe not great, but definitely ok.
“You do need to rebalance the universe, so I guess hitting them with karma as soon as you can is a good idea. It’s going to take more than you hitting one person at a time though. How’re you going to affect the entire universe from Earth? You probably need to hit a bunch of planets and realms with chain reactions, you know?”
The universe is big, and one little incident in the streets of Paris isn’t going to fix it.
Darcy leans back, sipping his wine as he broods in sexy silence.
Silence can be sexy, especially when a hot guy who looks like he belongs on a stage with ten thousand fans screaming at him does it. I’m not even a fan of K-pop, but I’d obsess over any group that had Darcy in it. Whatever else he is, he’s a whole vibe and a mood, and I’m into it.
“Systematically setting off chain reactions in strategic places all around the universe with the goal of returning the balance to seventy/twenty-seven/three? That’s a good idea. A month ago the universe was dealing with an eighty-eight/twelve split, and then Edovard—that’s Romily’s adopted son—spent a week in the company of the Avatar of Evil and fixed the balance to ninety/ten. It baffled everyone paying attention to the balance of the universe, but that’s basically what he did. He made changes to the actions that evil dot org was taking, and those changes, while evil in intent, created a net good.”
“Evil dot org? That’s a thing?” That's surprising, but also kind of cool.
“If you have the right IP address, typing that into the search bar will get you to the Avatar of Evil’s website, yes. Good dot org will get you to the Avatar of Good’s website. I don’t have one and never will. In fact, the only way to get in contact with me is if you already know how to get in contact with me. That’s how I operate, and I’m not changing that just ‘cause I’m allegedly a public figure now. Fuck Neutrality with a cactus dildo in all o’ it’s open holes.”
He still isn’t all that thrilled with being the Avatar of Neutrality, but, “I think you’re going to be the best Avatar possible for this project.”
He huffs and shakes his head. “Sure. C’mon, Peach, let’s go see the Great Wall. I’m eager to get back in your delectable ass.”
