“I see where Piper gets it now,” he says.
Mom’s gaze sharpens at that. “How do you two know each other?”
“College. This is Dorian McConkie.”
“So wehavemet, then.” Mom laughs. “I thought you looked familiar. Gave my baby girl quite a hard time back then, didn’t you? I hope you’ve grown out of that.”
“Mom!”
“Yeah.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I guess I have some apologies to make.”
“You don’t,” I assure him, then turn to my mom with fire-shooting eyes and my face aflame. “He doesn’t.”
“I remember things vividly,” Mom says, “but if you’re willing to move on, so am I.”
“I need to look for a new romcom,” Shauna says.
Mom nods. “I’ll come with you. Better use my coupon. You know, Piper, honey, if you charged for book club, you’d be able to keep out men like that weasel,andit could possibly help you keep the store from?—”
“Thanks for the idea! I’ll think about it.”
I was not going to think about it. Who would come to a book club they had to pay for? I liked the discussions, and it got people in my doors, which meant they’d go buy books afterward. I already made money from it.
Mom and Shauna bustle away. I start folding chairs to carry back to the storeroom. Dorian, to no one’s surprise, helps out.But when we get to the back and he follows me into the cold room, he sets the chairs down and frowns. “She’s right, you know.”
“What?”
“I owe you an apology.” He steps forward, essentially blocking me between the wall and the stack of folding chairs. “And, I think, also an explanation.”
eleven
dorian
I don’t knowwhat compelled me to start apologizing to Piper, but now that I’m knee-deep, I have to finish.
She’s staring at me with uncertainty, making me second-guess myself.
“It was a long time ago,” Piper says weakly.
I shake my head. “That doesn’t excuse my cowardice.”
“Interesting choice of words.”
“That’s what it was.” I give a helpless shrug. “I told you I was diagnosed with ADHD later in college, but I didn’t know about it as a freshman. Those first few weeks, when you tried to sit by me, you took all my focus. I couldn’t—it wasimpossibleto pay attention to my teachers. But I didn’t know how to explain it to you. I didn’t know you well enough. And the better I got to know you, the more intimidated I became.”
Piper stands against the wall, her mouth parted and eyes pinned on me. I give her a second to cut in and tell me to stop, but she doesn’t.
“I made stupid decisions. I couldn’t tell you how I felt—we shared friends, but we didn’t really know each other. I was shy,and I didn’t understand how to explain what I was feeling. I still struggle with that sometimes.”
“You’re doing a good job right now,” she mutters.
I can’t help but laugh. If only she knew all the things I wasn’t telling her—how hard I’d fallen, how consumed I’d been, how difficult it was to watch her date other guys. “Hardly. But the point is, you were hurt, and I never meant for that. I figured you wouldn’t notice, really. Who was I, anyway? Just some guy in your classes.”
“Yeah,” she says. “Some guy I had a crush on. It was mortifying being rejected.”
Wait,what? My thoughts screech to a halt. There’s no way I heard her correctly.
She gives her head a little shake, like she’s clearing her thoughts. “That all makes sense, but it doesn’t explain why you never stopped. You didn’t have to pay attention to the teacher when we were going bowling or hanging out, but if I was around, you would avoid me or leave. It was baffling. I could never figure out what I did to you. No one could.”
