But I can't stop, can't calm down.My breath comes too fast, too shallow.My hands are shaking so badly I shove them in my pockets.
I should call someone.My mam.A friend.The guards.
But what would I say?That my ex texted me?That I'm scared?They'd ask why I'm scared, what he did before, and I'd have to explain.Have to relive it.Have to admit that I stayed too long, that I let it get too bad, that I?—
No.
I can't do that again.
So I just walk.Fast.Checking over my shoulder every few steps.Watching reflections in shop windows to see if anyone's following.
I think I catch a glimpse of a man.Tall.Dark jacket.Too far back to see clearly.
My heart stops.
I walk faster.Turn a corner.Then another.Taking side streets I know, shortcuts that should lose anyone tailing me.
But the feeling doesn't go away, the crawling awareness that I'm being watched, being followed.
He's here.Somewhere.I can feel it.
Or maybe I'm just paranoid.Maybe the message has me seeing threats that don't exist.
But it felt real.Too real.
By the time I reach my building, I'm nearly running.I fumble with my keys, hands shaking so badly it takes three tries to get the right one.
The lock clicks.I shove the door open, stumble inside, and slam it shut behind me.
Deadbolt.Chain.Check them twice.
Then I lean against the door, breathing hard, trying not to cry.
Safe.I'm safe.Warren's safe.We're inside.Locked in.Protected.
But it doesn't feel like enough.
I run up the stairs—can't trust the lift—and unlock my flat.Same routine.Deadbolt.Chain.Check them.
Then straight to Warren's room.
He's playing on the floor with his toy cars, making engine noises.He looks up when I come in and smiles.
"Mam!You're home early."
"Yeah, love."My voice sounds strange.Too high.Too tight."I finished work early today."
"Can we play?"
"In a bit, yeah?Let me just...let me change first."
I cross the room, crouch down, and pull him into a hug, holding him tighter than I mean to, longer than usual.
He squirms."Mam, you're squishing me."
"Sorry.Sorry."I let go and press a kiss to his head."Love you."
"Love you too."
