The answer comes quiet and certain: I show her.With actions, not words.With patience, not pressure.
I stay outside her building until the sun starts to set, painting the Dublin sky in shades of gray and orange.Until I'm certain no one's watching her.Until I'm certain she's safe.
Then I turn on my heel and move away.
But I'm not done.
Not even close.
* * *
Back at the clubhouse, I head straight for my room, where I strip off my jacket and sit on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands.
She's scared, really scared.And not just of me, of something else.Someone else.
The ex, probably.Is he back?Is he threatening her?
The thought makes my blood run cold, makes me want to find whoever put that look of fear on her face and make sure they never come near her again.
But I can't do that.I can't go all vigilante without knowing what I'm dealing with.I can't risk making things worse for her.
So I'll wait.I'll watch.I'll make sure she's safe from a distance.
And when she's ready, if she's ever ready, I'll be here.
My phone's on the nightstand.I pick it up and stare at the blank screen.No messages.No missed calls.
Nothing.
I could text Ciara, ask her what's going on with Enya.Find out if she's okay.But that feels like crossing a line, like going behind Enya's back instead of respecting her space.
So I set the phone down and just sit there in the quiet.
Last night, she was in this bed, in my arms, looking at me like maybe, just maybe, she could trust me.
And this morning she ran because trusting me is too terrifying.
I get it.I do.She's been burned before.Hurt badly.And I came into her life and immediately fucked up, gave her every reason to believe I'm just like the last guy who hurt her.
But I'm not.
And I'm going to prove it.
Not with grand gestures or declarations.Not by showing up at her flat demanding she listen.But by being steady.Reliable.Safe.
By giving her space when she needs it and being there when she's ready.
By showing her, slowly, carefully, that she can trust me not to hurt her again.
It might take weeks.Might take months.Might never happen at all.
But Christ above, I'm not done trying.
Because she matters.Her kid matters.And whatever fear I saw in her eyes today, that matters too.
So if she needs space, I'll give it.
If she needs quiet, she'll have it.
