During lunch, it was the same. I kept imagining that everyone in the cafeteria was looking at me with questioning eyes.
“Are you even listening to me?” Aubrey asked, her voice playful but her eyes serious.
I grimaced. “Sorry. What were you saying?”
“I just wanted to know if you and Sadie are exclusive.”
My eyes shot to hers, startled. “Of course we are.”
She laughed. “Oh God, you’re so naïve.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, frowning.
“Nothing,” she shrugged, bringing my attention back to her tits. “It’s just… well, don’t you think you deserve to fuck around a little?”
I forced my eyes upward to meet hers. “Deserve it?”
“You’re the starting quarterback at a major university. You’re getting national attention.” She leaned in. “I can guarantee you could fuck any girl on this campus if you wanted to. And yet you’re stuck in a relationship. Don’t you think eighteen or nineteen is a little young to choose who you want to be with for the rest of your life?”
I just stared at her, trying not to think about what she was saying.
“College is for exploration. It’s to find out what you like, who you like. There’s a whole world of women out there for you to try, and you’re stuck withone?” She shook her head. “It’s a waste.”
“I’m a one-woman man,” I said.
Aubrey made a face as if she didn’t believe me.
What I’d said was true, but I couldn’t lie to myself. Every now and then, when a beautiful girl smiled at me in a certain way, I knew I could fuck her if I put forth any effort. But as soon as I had the thought, I pushed it away. I was with Sadie. I loved Sadie.
“Let’s talk about something else,” I insisted. We’d spent the rest of lunch talking about innocuous things, like our marketing class. Since we were both business majors, it made it easy to bond over shared interests.
Our relationship had started out innocently enough, but it had started to… evolve. And I wasn’t sure how to handle it.
I had no idea that the next semester would be so much worse.
Chapter Five
Sadie
Early one morning, Harrison and I were headed over to our favorite coffee shop on campus. It was a Sunday, so the vibe on campus was a little more relaxed. We’d won our football game the day before, and Harrison was riding a wave of adrenaline and happiness because his performance was so good. All along our walk on the riverfront edge of campus, people kept stopping him for his autograph.
We’d been holding hands, but he dropped mine to sign things and give high fives and fist bumps. When I tried to recapture his hand, he brushed mine away. Confused, I looked around. There were girls everywhere, and for the first time I wondered if Harrison didn’t want people to know he had a girlfriend. He certainly seemed to bask in their attention.
I walked along behind him like a forgotten shadow. I didn’t like the feeling. It was like he was hiding that he was in a relationship.
When we got to the coffee shop, he turned to me again. “This line is way too long,” he complained.
“It’s always like this in the morning,” I said, shrugging. He knew that.
“QB1!” The guy behind the counter yelled. “Come on up here and get your breakfast. It’s on the house.”
Harrison grinned and bypassed the line, cutting in front of dozens of other people with no qualms. I was embarrassed. My face burned. This wasn’t something I was okay with.
“Harrison,” I whispered. “This feels wrong.”
“It’s a perk,” he said as he moved around the line, talking with some people and smiling for selfies with others. He looked down at me. “Why wouldn’t I take advantage of it?”
I followed him, but something felt off. There was an uneasiness in my stomach as I saw how much he enjoyed the praise. I looked at his handsome face and saw something there for a moment I wasn’t sure I liked. Something arrogant. Something entitled. But then he turned with that beautiful smile I’ve loved since eighth grade and motioned for me to hurry. I rushed towards him and pushed down my feelings, thinking they were probably just nerves.
