Gasping for breath, I cleaned myself up. Then I leaned against the tile, disgusted with myself.
I was suddenly nauseous, and I hurried out of the shower to get sick in the toilet. When I was finished heaving, I leaned back against the wall. I couldn’t believe I’d imagined Aubrey while I was jacking off. That had never happened before. It wasalwaysSadie.
Slowly, Aubrey had infiltrated every part of my sexual fantasies. I’d pictured her in my dreams. I’d pictured her while fucking Sadie. Now I was picturing her while I took care of myself in the shower.
My hands shook as I splashed water on my face and looked in the mirror. This whole thing had spiraled out of control. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I felt like I was going crazy.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the cool mirror.
I probablyshouldhave told Sadie we should take a break for the summer. Then I could’ve fucked Aubrey and whoever else I wanted to. Because now?
Now I was terrified I was going to cheat on her.
***
I went back out to the locker room following my shower after practice. I was putting some things away in my locker and listening to the guys shoot the shit while thoughts of Sadie and Aubrey ran through my mind. It was driving me crazy, and Iwished for the hundredth time that Sadie hadn’t gone home for the summer.
I sighed and slammed my locker shut.
When I turned around, everyone was looking at me.
“What?”
“You a little frustrated, man?” Deion, my favorite wide receiver, asked.
“Yeah.” I went and sat down on a bench and leaned my head back on the wall. “Sadie went home for the summer.”
He cocked an eyebrow, clapped his hands, and then rubbed them together. “This is it. This is your time. Live it up.” He stood up and did some suggestive hip thrusts while everyone laughed and agreed with him. “There are so many girls ready to fuck you around campus, you could be balls deep in pussy in about ten minutes.”
God that sounded good. I closed my eyes briefly. “I’m trying not to cheat on my girlfriend.”
“We know that, and you’re a good guy. You really are. But you’re nineteen fucking years old. If she’s gone this summer, it’s the perfect opportunity to get as much pussy as you can. She never has to know about it. Then you can go back to being a good boyfriend in the fall.”
Almost everyone agreed with him. They all started talking about how many girls they’d been with over the past couple of months.
“And you? You’re the star quarterback everyone wants a piece of. I guarantee you could have three or four different womena day, man. All summer long. You’re crazy if you don’t take advantage of that,” Jack, the kicker for the team, said. “I’m swimming in girls every night,” he grinned. “It’s one of the best perks of being on the team.”
Deion pointed at him. “He’s the goddamn kicker, man. If he can pull, think what you could do!”
Everyone cracked up, even Jack.
I noticed only a couple of guys were shaking their heads. Marcus, a running back I really respected, spoke up. “Have y’allseenhis girlfriend? Or talked to her? She’s not someone you cheat on. She’s the endgame, man. The one you marry.”
There were several comments about how hot Sadie was. I chose to ignore them. It always pissed me off when guys talked about her that way.
Marcus was right, though. “I know. And I love her. It’s just… hard with all these beautiful women ready and willing.”
He stood up, ready to leave. “My advice is go see your girlfriend this weekend. Spend all your time between her legs and stay true to her. You’ll regret it if you don’t.” He grabbed his bag. “See y’all tomorrow.”
Several guys followed him out while I was still sitting there, thinking.
“If I had a girl like Sadie, I’d never cheat on her,” Eric, a big offensive lineman, said.
“What are you talking about?” Deion laughed. “You’re out with a different lady every night.”
Eric shrugged. “I haven’t found a girl like Sadie,” he said. “Once I do? I’ll stop fucking around and settle down.”
Deion looked at me after most of the guys had left. “You still thinking about getting with Aubrey?”
