I don’t know what. But I can feel it.
And as I turn off the kitchen light and head toward the living room, I make myself a promise.
I’ll give her tonight. I’ll give her space.
But tomorrow?
I’m not letting her hide from me.
Not anymore.
28
TALIA
The Hardest Goodbye
Ilie awake beside him, staring at the ceiling like it might offer answers.
Jake sleeps on his back, one arm flung above his head, the other resting too close to me, close enough that if I moved an inch I’d be touching him. His breathing is slow and deep, the steady rhythm of a man who worked hard all day and feels safe enough to let go.
Safe.
The word squeezes my throat.
Because I am the opposite of safe.
I replay his face from earlier, over and over, like my brain is punishing me on a loop.
The way his eyes lit up when he told me about the gallery.
Not just proud. Happy.
Like he’d been carrying that excitement all day like a gift and couldn’t wait to place it in my hands.
A gallery. For my work. For me.
But the guilt I feel is crushing me.
I turn my head toward him in the dark and watch his profile. The strong line of his jaw. The faint shadow of stubble. The way his mouth softens when he’s asleep, like the world can’t touch him.
He’s finally happy.
And I’m about to destroy everything.
I swallow hard and close my eyes, trying to force sleep.
It doesn’t come.
Instead my mind starts spinning out scenarios of how Jake will react when I tell him I’m pregnant.
Scenario one: disbelief.
Jake blinking at me, that hard captain’s stare on his face, like he’s waiting for me to sayjust kidding. Like he can’t wrap his head around the idea that I could be the kind of person who would do this.
I picture him saying my name like a warning.
“Talia.”
