I can't look at him. Because if I do, I'll either shatter completely or rage so hard I might never stop. I take three deep breaths. Then two more. “He wants me to get you to hire the firm. Long-term environmental retainer. Exclusive contract. In exchange, I make partner by year's end."
“I take it he saw something that makes him think you and I are together.”
“Yes. A photo taken at Tipsy.” I push some of my anger on Thorne. I’d told him that dancing together was a bad idea. But I’d wanted him as badly as he did me.
“And now he wants you to use what we have for a business deal."
"That's the offer." I finally meet his eyes. The fury there is incandescent. "Do it, and I'm a strategic networker making partner. Don't do it, and I'm an associate with poor judgment who gets fired."
"Tell him to go to hell." No hesitation. "You quit. Right now. You don't work for people who—"
"And do what?" The question cracks out of me. "Start over? Do you think Bill will give me a glowing recommendation? No.” I laugh, sharp and bitter. “He’s already said he’ll make sure my reputation is destroyed. No major firm would touch me."
His hands frame my face, forcing me to look at him. "Then I'll hire the firm. Tomorrow. Whatever contract he wants. Problem solved."
"No!" I jerk away from him. "Don't you see? If you do that, he's right. I did sleep with you to get ahead. I did trade our relationship for my career. Everything he said about me becomes true."
"I don't give a damn what he thinks—"
"Well I do! Because it's not just him. It's every person at that firm. Every lawyer I've ever worked with. Every client I've ever represented. They'll all think the same thing. That I'm a woman who couldn't make it on her own merit so she fucked her way to the top."
"That's not what this is—"
"Isn't it?" My nails dig into my palms. "If you hire the firm now, after this call, that's exactly what it is. A business transaction in exchange for sex."
He reaches for me, and this time I don't pull away. His arms come around me, careful, like I might break. And maybe I will. Maybe I'm already breaking.
"This is my fault," he says against my hair. "My visibility, my name—"
"Stop." I press my hand to his chest. His heart hammers beneath my palm. "This isn't about you. This is about Bill seeing a chance to land a massive client and using me as leverage. I'm just the means to his end."
“Then let me—"
"No." I pull back far enough to see his face. "Promise me you won't call Bill. Promise me you won't hire the firm. Promise me you'll let me handle this."
He says nothing for several heartbeats. I can see the war on his face. Every instinct he has is fighting. His jaw works. His hands flex on my shoulders.
"I can't stand here and watch you lose everything because of me."
“It's not because of you.” I argue. “Now promise me.”
“I promise,” he sighs.
“What are you going to do?”
Option one: Ask Thorne to hire the firm. Secure my partnership. Prove Bill right about everything.
Option two: Refuse. Get fired. Watch five years of work disappear because I danced with the wrong man.
Option three: There is no option three.
"I don't know," I whisper.
I move toward the door, but Thorne catches my wrist.
"Ivy."
I pull free without looking back. "Please, Thorne. I need to be alone. I need to think."
