“Yo’ throat ain’t single, and you still got my seeds dancing on your tonsils. Stop fuckin’ playing with me.”
His words made me fucking angry. I shot up from the seat and reacted before thinking about it.
SLAP!
My hand went across his cheek, barely making him flinch. He closed his eyes and when they reopened again, the devil laid behind those pupils. His tongue poked against the inside of his jaw.
“I said what I said! I can suck a million dicks and still be single!” I spat. “Weren’t you just in the blogs with another bitch last night? Don’t worry about me.”
When he leaped at me, I jumped back because I wasn’t expecting it. But he stopped himself.
He grabbed the back of my head roughly, kissing me with passion, eyes open. “You got that shit. I’ll let you have fun tonight, but if that nigga on you by morning, you might as keep this black dress on,” he poked me in the stomach, threatening before releasing me.
“Stop the ride,” Rayzor told the driver.
The carriage jerked as it abruptly stopped.
He got up, hopped down and stood off to the side as we started back up again.
His eyes glided with me as we rolled past him. My heart hadn’t caught up to my brain as my heart skipped a beat. That damn man had me all confused. That’s exactly why I went on this date to try and shake Rayzor because I was in too deep no matter what my mouth said. I wanted to be in his skin and that was dangerous. It was clear that he felt the same way. What’re we doing?
Iwoke up before my alarm, barely sleeping through the night after that shit with Eris last night. My morning workout and run was shitty. It was too much on my mental.
It’s Pop’s birthday and usually around this time of year, I kept to myself because it always fucks me up. It’s one of those things that I likely won’t ever forget. When his heart stopped, so did mine. The only difference was I had to live after that.
Going into my garage, I stood inside the dark garage before hitting the gift, offering light to its darkness. Pearl White’s paint danced under the sun bringing the Tahoe to life. It was a bittersweet moment.
This was my collectable. Ma had given it to me for my seventeenth birthday while I was grieving then life changed for the worse after that. If I could relive seventeen, I’d skip mostof the year. After losing Pops at fifteen, I thought the worst was over. It wasn’t. Darkness sat in the background until it exploded years later.
Throughout the years, I did ins and outs, revamping it but keeping it in its original state as much as possible. Barely bringing it out. It was the last piece of Pop I had left.
Today was the perfect occasion. I pointed to the sky. “Doing this shit for you, Pop.”
My heart twinged as my back hit the seat. It was still imprinted with his frame. I remember when Pops brought this car home.
Turning the key, I brought it to life like its first breath. I smirked while slowly creeping it out the tight spot, down the driveway and onto the street. When the back two wheels the hit the pavement, it rode out smoothly.
The hour and a half drive to the cemetery was spent in bittersweet solitude of memories of him. That was my first biggest loss I hadn’t bounce back from. A man was supposed to teach his son about life. My lessons were cut short, so I had to thug this shit out.
It was empty when I pulled up.
His gravesite was near the lake; he loved water, fishing and swimming. That’s one of my favorite pastimes that I’ve neglected. Haven’t been on a boat since he died. Family reunions at the lake to honor his memory were a sore spot until I couldn’t take it and stopped going. Then the tradition died. Not long after, the family did too.
A cool grey headstone with boxing gloves engraved under a picture of Gerald “Giant” Kirkland imprinted on it. It’s crazy how life keeps you busy until it’s still and you’re confined to a box under soil. That’s where we all end up, but damn, why Pops had to leave?
I glanced back at the truck. “You see Betsy, Pop?” I chuckled. “Another year, ole’ man.” I smiled at the tomb while taking a squat in front of it.
I knew he was dust and bones but that ain’t stop me from chopping it up with him.
“Damn, the big 50, huh? I always thought you’d throw one of those big ass house parties like you did growing up. You’re supposed to be around to see it.” I chuckled unamusingly.
The silence was confirmation that he wasn’t coming back– that this conversation was one-sided.
“I couldn’t sleep today, but you already knew that. Is it crazy that I wanted you to come to me in a dream? It’s been too many years, Pop. This shit seems like a memory, but the pain’s still heavy.”
The leaves wrestled on the ground.
“Is that the sign?” I chuckled, shaking my head.
