Not much has changed in the past couple weeks, and yeteverything’schanged. I don’t feel like the same person who got off the plane at JFK. That person was lost and directionless, hoping to find some meaning in his life in this new city. And I’m not saying I’ve got everything figured out now, but it feels like things are happening. I’m moving forward. My life is taking on a shape that I like, that I want more of.
And so much of that is because of Hayden. Because he’s made me feel comfortable out here where I didn’t know anyone. He’s given me a home away from home. He’s given me something to look forward to when I wake up in the mornings. He’s given me an opportunity to do something with my life that never would’ve been possible if I was still back on the West Coast.
I owe Hayden so much. Yeah, we’ve only known each other for a short while. And yeah, he’s been going through a lot of shit the whole time. But if this is what he can do in the middle of all that, I can’t imagine how fucking awesome he’d be when he’s at a hundred percent.
“Okay, how’s this?” Sebastian says, making an executive decision. “We keep everything the same for now. For both thedocumentary and your second video. But you’ll say something if you’re not feeling up to it, got it? If you’re feeling like shit or you need a break, you have to tell us. No more pretending you’re fine when you’re not.”
Hayden nods, still looking a little wary. “Okay.”
Satisfied, Sebastian starts gathering his things. “Cool, I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you guys tomorrow for the tux fitting scene.”
“I don’t have anywhere to be.” Rhys jumps to his feet and reaches his hands above his head to stretch side to side. “Want to go get lunch?”
Hayden hesitates before answering. “I’m not really hungry.”
Disappointment flashes across Rhys’s face. “Oh, uh, how about we go for a walk? Hang out at the park?”
Hayden drops his gaze. “I don’t know…”
“What about the library? You love the library.”
Hayden takes a couple breaths before answering. “Actually, I’m kind of tired.”
Rhys looks like he’s going to keep arguing with Hayden when Sebastian puts a hand on his shoulder. A silent message passes between them. Rhys pouts, chin lifting, but he lets it go. “Fine, but this weekend. I expect to see you at The Bronzed Rail,” he says, pointing a stern finger at Hayden. “Got it?”
Hayden tries for a smile, but it looks more like a grimace. “I’ll try.”
I see Rhys and Sebastian out and we pause by the front door, lowering our voices so Hayden can’t overhear us.
“Let us know how he does, okay?” Sebastian instructs. “And if anything happens, give us a call and we’ll be right over.”
“For sure.” I clap his outstretched hand and lean in for a shoulder hug. When we pull back, Rhys has his arms crossed over his chest, watching me with one raised eyebrow.
“You didn’t answer my question earlier. Are you guys fucking?”
“Jesus Christ, Rhys,” Sebastian mutters.
I cross my arms to match his and lean against the doorframe. “What if we are?”
Rhys’s gaze is shrewd as we stare each other down. “You seem like a nice guy,” he finally says after a few tense seconds. “But if you hurt him, I’ll hunt you down and end you.”
I don’t fight the smile that spreads across my face. I have absolutely no intention of hurting Hayden. I would never forgive myself if I did. Hayden needs to be protected at all costs, and there’s nothing else on earth I want to do more.
Sebastian and Rhys head down the stairs and I close the door after them. When I get back to the living room, Hayden is exactly where I left him. Arms wrapped around himself, slouched all the way down on the couch.
“Do you want to eat something?” I ask because I totally get Hayden not wanting to go out, but he’s still got to eat.
He shakes his head. “No, I’m not hungry.” Moving slowly, he pushes himself to his feet. “I think I’ll take a nap.”
I follow him to his room where he crawls into bed and pulls the covers up to his chin. “Want me to stay with you?”
He doesn’t meet my gaze, insecurity wafting off him. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
So it’s going to be like that, huh? I scramble to climb into bed with him. “I always want to stay with you.”
He glances up at me, like he’s trying to see if I’m serious. Newsflash, pretty boy, I’m dead serious. A look of relief washes over his face and he snuggles into my side.
Truth is, I’m not the least bit tired and I’d normally go out of my mind if I was forced to lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling with nothing to do. But this time, I don’t mind. Because Hayden is here and he needs me to be with him. And I can’t think of another place I’d rather be.
