“What? It’s true.” Rhys is curled up with his knees tucked against his chest, arms wrapped around his shins. He’s got a glower on his face that could rival Noel’s and his chin is stuck out in an epic pout. But he’s on the verge of crying with his eyes filling with tears.
Guilt makes my embarrassment worse. Rhys is crying because of me. Because I lied to him and hid the truth for so long.
“I’m sorry,” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“I knew I shouldn’t have moved out.” Rhys wipes angrily at his cheeks. “I knew something was wrong. I should’ve stayed.”
“No!” The word comes out a little too forcefully. “No, you deserve to be with Angel. I didn’t want to get in the way of that.”
“But not at your expense!” Rhys shifts so he’s kneeling on the couch cushions, ready for a fight.
I shrink into myself, slouching down so he looms above me. I know he’s not trying to be mean. I know he’s only yelling because he’s worried and scared. And I’m responsible. If I’d said something sooner, none of this would’ve happened. If I had told him the first dozen times he asked if something was wrong, we wouldn’t be here right now.
Santino comes back with an armful of LaCroix. He sets them down on the coffee table without bothering to hand them out. The second his ass hits the couch, he’s got his arm around my shoulders and I lean into the comfort of his body.
Rhys’s eyes narrow and he glares at Santino, who just holds me tighter. “Are you two fucking?”
Sebastian groans and drops his head into his hands. “Oh my god, Rhys.”
“What? It’s a legitimate question. Just because they filmed a scene together doesn’t mean he gets to take advantage of Denny.”
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, bro,” Santino spits back at Rhys. “I’m the only one who’s here. I’m the one who noticed he was hurting and did something about it. What the fuck have you done?”
Rhys blanches and more tears escape his lashes. “How dare you. How fucking dare you? You’ve been here for what? A couple weeks? And you’ll be leaving soon too. I’m Denny’s best friend. I’ll still be here when you’re long gone.”
“Some best friend you are.”
“Okay!” Sebastian jumps to his feet, hands held out to stop them both from continuing. “That’s enough. You two arguing over who cares more about Hayden isn’t actually helping.”
Santino harrumphs and Rhys’s chin lifts an inch. God, I’m such a terrible person. I’m an awful friend. All I did was make two perfectly nice people argue with each other over something so stupid. What does it matter who cares more about me? I don’t deserve it either way. They have better things to do with their lives.
Sebastian moves the cans of LaCroix out of the way and sits down on the coffee table in front of me. He pins me with that look he has. The one he uses when he’s in charge and on a mission. No one says no to Sebastian when he’s like this. “This didn’t start when Rhys moved out, did it?”
I hesitate, aghast that I’m actually going to admit to it. But I shake my head, feeling like a schoolboy getting scolded by the principal.
“It’s been months already.” Sebastian tilts his head in thought. “Maybe a year?”
I nod.
“Can you tell us what this is all about?”
CHAPTER
TWENTY
SANTINO
Hayden is shaking. Like full-on trembling. I hold him tighter and rub my hand up and down his arm to help ground him.
Sebastian’s right. I shouldn’t have shouted at Rhys. It was a stupid argument to begin with, but more importantly, it wasn’t going to help Hayden any. If anything, it only made him feel worse than he already did. I should’ve known better.
But honestly, what the fuck. I get Rhys is worried about his friend, but he doesn’t have to be a bitch about it. I’m only trying to help someone we both care about. Jesus.
“I feel bad,” Hayden says, voice small, eyes downcast. He’s all huddled in on himself. “Heavy. Dark. Scared. Angry. Sad.” He presses his hand to the middle of his chest. “It hurts. Here.”
“Hurts how?” Sebastian asks.
“Like… something’s clawing at me from the inside.”
