"Accepted it," Aleksander finishes. "Like good little Baganovs."
I move to the bar cart, pour another vodka. "What do you want me to say? Father made his choice. The doctor paid the price."
"The doctor didn't deserve to die." Oleg's voice carries the weight of his calling. "We were raised to hurt only people who deserved it. Father broke his own code."
"Father was grieving."
"Father waswrong."
I spin on him. "And what? You want me to resurrect the dead? Apologize to his family? The man's been in the ground for twenty years."
"I want us toacknowledgeit," Natalia says quietly. "I want to stop pretending I killed our mother."
The words hit like a bullet to the chest.
"You didn't?—"
"Five siblings." Her voice cracks. "Five siblings who describe her as an angel. Who light candles on her birthday. Who look at me and see the reason she's not here anymore." She closes the journal. "I'm not stupid, Dmitri. I see how Father looks at me. How he's always looked at me. Like I'm the price he paid for his own recklessness."
I cross the room and crouch before her chair. My hands find hers, rough against delicate.
"Listen to me." I wait until her eyes meet mine. "Mother and Father made a choice. They were warned, and they chose to try anyway. That's onthem. Not on you. Never on you."
"Then why does it feel like punishment?"
"Because Father needed someone to blame. The doctor was convenient. You were permanent." I squeeze her fingers. "But you are not responsible for their choices. You hear me?"
Tears slip down her cheeks. "I hear you."
I stand, facing my siblings.
This is my family. Broken, complicated, bound by blood and secrets.
"We don't talk about this enough," Karolina says. "About her. About what Father did."
"There's nothing to discuss." I drain my glass. "Father made a choice. We live with the consequences. That's what being a Baganov means."
"That's what beinghis childrenmeans," Aleksander corrects. "Doesn't have to be what we pass down."
Natalia wipes her face with the back of her hand, and I stand there like an idiot.
I should say something. Something that makes her feel better.
But the words that form in my head are all wrong. Facts. Solutions to problems that can't be solved with strategy.
You are not responsible for their choices.
True. Also completely useless.
What Natalia needs is someone to hold her. Someone to sit beside her and let her cry. Someone who knows how to bepresentwithout trying to fix everything.
That's not me.
It's never been me.
Karolina moves to the chair and wraps her arms around Natalia. Aleksander's hand finds his twin's shoulder. Even Oleg crosses from the window to stand closer, his presence a quiet comfort.
I remain where I am. Three feet away. Close enough to see Natalia's tears, far enough to be useless.
