Nico
Three months ago, if someone told me I'd be wandering through Disneyland with mouse ears on my head and a five-year-old on my back screaming every time she spots something pink, I would have laughed until I choked.
Then I would have shot them for wasting my time.
But here I am. Mickey Mouse ears. Glitter on my jacket that I'm pretty sure will never come out. A stuffed Dumbo tucked under my arm because Lily decided he needed to see the castle too.
And I wouldn't change a single goddamn thing.
"Nico! Nico! Look!" Lily's fingers dig into my shoulders as she bounces. "It's the princess castle!"
"I see it, piccola."
"Can we go inside? Can we? Please?"
"We can do whatever you want."
She squeals directly into my ear. My hearing might never recover. Worth it.
Kristen walks beside us, her hand brushing mine every few steps like she needs to confirm I'm real. She's wearing a simple white sundress and those ridiculous Minnie Mouse ears Lily insisted she buys. Her hair falls loose around her shoulders.Something she never did when I first met her. Back then, everything about her was pulled back, contained, made small.
We've been wandering for hours. My feet ache. My back protests from carrying Lily more than I've walked on my own. The sun beats down, and I'm pretty sure I have ice cream on my shirt from when Lily decided to show me her cone mid-lick.
I don't care.
Because Kristen is glowing.
Not the kind of glowing people talk about in magazines. This is real. Her eyes keep going wide at every ride, every character, every overpriced souvenir shop. She photographs everything. Not just Lily, but the flowers, the architecture, the way light hits the water in the fountains.
She's never been anywhere like this. I know that without asking.
"Mommy!" Lily tugs on Kristen's dress. "Can I get the princess wand? The sparkly one?"
"Baby, you already got?—"
"Yes," I interrupt.
Kristen shoots me a look. "Nico."
"What?"
"You can't say yes to everything."
"Watch me."
Her mouth twitches. She's fighting a smile and losing. "You're going to spoil her."
"That's the plan."
Lily cheers and squirms down from my back, grabbing Kristen's hand to drag her toward the shop. I follow, content to watch them navigate the crowded pathway.
Kristen moves differently here. Lighter. Her shoulders don't hunch.
This trip was supposed to be for Lily. The birthday present to end all birthday presents. But somewhere between thethird carousel ride and the second character meet-and-greet, I realized the truth.
This is for Kristen.
Lily would have been thrilled with a backyard party and a new stuffed rabbit. She's five. Her joy threshold is beautifully low.
