I blink at him. "What?"
"Home." He says it like it's obvious. Like we've already had this conversation and I'm just slow on the uptake. "With me. You and Lily."
"I—" My brain short-circuits. "Nico, I can't just?—"
"You said you missed me." His thumb traces circles on my palm again. "You said you couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop crying. That's not fair."
"Not fair?" I stare at him. "You got shot. In the chest. And you're talking about what's fair?"
"You left me." Simple. Direct. Like he's stating a fact, not making an accusation. "I'm not letting that happen again."
"That's not—" I shake my head, trying to organize the chaos of my thoughts. "Nico, I don't know how to do this. I don't know if it's okay to just... move in with your family. With all of them. Into that compound where people carry guns and have secret meetings and?—"
"We can live wherever you want."
That stops me cold.
"What?"
"Wherever you want," he repeats. "The compound. An apartment. A house somewhere else. I don't care. As long as you're there."
My chest aches. This man. This infuriating, terrifying, impossibly tender man.
"You need to be sure about this," I say quietly. "These past days, when we were apart, all I could think was... I have a kid, Nico. I come with a four-year-old who needs stability and routine and someone who won't disappear on her. I can't just?—"
Nico looks at me like I've started speaking Mandarin.
"Yeah," he says slowly. "And?"
"And?" I repeat. "And that's a lot. That's a whole other person you'd be taking on. A child who needs attention and patience and?—"
"Kristen." He cuts me off. "I've never been close to a kid before. Never wanted to be. Never thought I could be." His jaw tightens. "But Lily is your world. And you're mine. So she's mine too. That's just how it works."
My eyes sting. I try to blink it away, but he's not done.
"Besides," he adds, and there's something almost amused in his voice now, "Lily is doing us a favor."
"A favor?"
"The first woman between the two of you who pulled me close was her." His eyes meet mine. "Not you with your cold ass walking around, pretending you didn't want me."
A laugh bursts out of me. Loud and unexpected and completely inappropriate for a hospital room.
"My cold ass?"
"You heard me." His mouth twitches. "I brought you to dinner. I gave you a job. I kept trying to talk to you. And you kept running away like I was contagious."
"You were intimidating!"
"I was interested." He says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "But Lily? She showed me a drawing of a rabbit with wings and asked if I wanted to keep it. Didn't even hesitate. Just decided I was worth trusting."
I remember that moment.
"She's braver than me," I admit.
"Lily's going to be impossible after this," I warn him. "She already thinks you hung the moon. If we move in, she'll probably try to rename all her rabbits after you."
"I can live with that."
