"No." The word comes out sharper than I intended. I soften it with a smile. "Thank you, but no. I'm buying this myself."
She studies me for a moment. I expect argument. Pushback. The Sartoris throw money around like it's nothing—I've seen the way they live.
But Vittoria just nods. "Okay."
That's it. No guilt trip. No insistence.
I add the emergency medicine guide to my stack. Then a pharmacology text I've been eyeing for months. The total will eat a chunk of my paycheck, but when I hand over my debit card at the register, something shifts inside me.
This is mine. I earned this. Nobody can take it away.
The cashier bags my books, and I hold them against my chest like treasure.
"You look happy," Vittoria observes as we collect Lily from story time.
I am. Terrifyingly, impossibly happy.
"I forgot what this felt like," I admit. "Wanting something and being able to get it."
Vittoria's smile turns knowing. "Get used to it."
We find Nora and Lily in the children's section, surrounded by a semicircle of toddlers watching a staff member wave a dragon puppet. Lily sits cross-legged at the front,
"She volunteered to be the princess in the story," Nora whispers. "Stood up and everything. Told everyone her name was Princess Lily of Bunny Castle."
That's my girl.
"The kids' store?" Vittoria suggests when story time ends. "I saw the cutest dress in the window."
Lily's eyes go wide. "Can we, Mommy? Please?"
"Yeah, baby. We can."
The store is chaos in the best way. Racks of tiny clothes in every color, shoes displayed like artwork, accessories that sparkle under fluorescent lights. Lily touches everything with reverent fingers.
"This one!" She holds up a purple dress with silver stars. "It's like the sky at night!"
"Let's try it on," I tell her, and her whole face lights up.
Nora and Vittoria help her into the dressing room while I browse the shoe section. Lily's sneakers are held together with hope and duct tape. She needs new ones.
I find a pair of sturdy pink sneakers with good arch support. Then a pair of sandals for summer. Then rain boots with little frogs on them because she loves frogs and I've never been able to buy her anything just because she'd love it.
Lily emerges from the dressing room in the purple dress, spinning so the skirt flares out.
"You look beautiful," I tell her.
"Like a real princess?"
"Better. Like you."
We buy the dress. And a second dress with daisies on it. And three shirts and two pairs of leggings and all the shoes I picked out. The total makes me wince, but I hand over my card anyway.
Ice cream comes next. A little shop on the ground floor with too many flavors and not enough seating. We squeeze into a corner booth—Lily with her strawberry cone, Nora with mint chip, Vittoria with something called "death by chocolate" that looks like it could actually kill someone, and me with simple vanilla.
"Mommy," Lily says, very seriously, "did you know that rabbits can't eat ice cream?"
"I did not know that."
