Kristen tilts her head, those grey-blue eyes studying me the way I've been studying her for weeks. "Am I?"
"I'm not safe, Kristen. Not for you. Not for anyone."
"I didn't say you were safe." She closes the textbook, sets it aside. "I said you wouldn't hurt me."
The distinction shouldn't matter. It does.
"I can't stop thinking about you." The confession feels like bleeding out. "I've tried. I've run the numbers, calculated every reason this is a catastrophic idea. You're temporary. You have a daughter. You're in my family's debt. You should hate me."
Her breath catches. "I don't hate you."
"You've been avoiding looking at me for days."
She trie to form words and then stops herself. Shakes her head. "It doesn't matter."
"It matters."
"Nico—"
"Say it."
The command comes out rougher than I intend. Kristen's eyes widen, but she doesn't flinch. Doesn't look away. Instead, she lifts her chin in that defiant way that makes my blood run hot.
"Every time you walk into a room," she says slowly, "I forget that wanting you is probably the dumbest thing I've ever done, and I've made a lot of dumb decisions."
I shouldn't do this.
I shouldn't move closer. Shouldn't let my hand reach up to cup her jaw, my thumb brushing across her cheekbone. Shouldn't watch her pupils blow wide, her lips part.
I close the distance.
Her lips are soft. Softer than I imagined, and I've imagined this more than I should. The kiss starts gentle but the moment she sighs against my mouth, something snaps.
I pull back just enough to see her face. Her eyes are still closed, lashes fanned across her cheeks. My lips ache from the loss of her.
So I kiss her again.
This time I don't hold back. My hand slides into her hair, tilting her head to deepen the angle. She moans and I go hard so fast.
Her fingers curl into my shirt, pulling me closer, and I let her. I'd let her do anything right now.
Then she freezes.
Kristen pulls back, her breathing ragged. "I'm sorry."
The words don't compute. "What?"
"That was—I shouldn't have—" She's scrambling now, standing up so fast she nearly trips over the medical textbook."I provoked you. That was completely unprofessional. You're my employer and I'm living in your house and I just?—"
"Kristen."
"—made everything complicated when you've already done so much for me and Lily, and this is exactly why I shouldn't drink, even one glass makes me stupid and?—"
"Kristen."
She stops. Stares at me with those wide grey-blue eyes, already rebuilding her walls. Already talking herself out of what just happened.
I reach up and grab her wrist. One gentle tug, and she's falling—onto my lap, her thighs bracketing my hips, her hands braced against my chest for balance.
