Leaning my head against the side of the van, I close my eyes, doing my level best to stem the panic attack that wants to take control of me right now. I can feel everyone watching me—not just the kids, but Callum and Carlilse too, no doubt wondering just what the hell I have kept from them all these years and how much more I’m intending to keep under wraps. I don’t have an answer, don’t have anything even close to one. The best I can manage is just praying that I can get my family to safety before anything else happens.
The military—that’s where I was told they went. When I returned to Devin Ridge, I had expected to find them here, only to discover them gone. Nobody was able to tell me much about where they had taken off to—basic training was the best I could get, though I’d never known any of them to be military men before. They had roots down in this place for so many years. Sure, their feelings about this town might not all have beenpositive, but this was where they belonged, or at least, that’s what I’d believed for so long.
But now…I’m not so certain. They might be back, but that doesn’t undo the distance that stood between us for all these years. Maybe it’s better for my peace of mind if I just don’t ask any questions, let them do what needs to be done, and stay focused on keeping my kids safe.
Even if the very house that I’ve called home for so long could be burning down in the next few hours. I swallow the pain at the thought of it, the image of my children’s toys destroyed by fire. Until something actually happens, I can’t torture myself with the possibility of it. My quads are perceptive in ways I don’t always give them credit for, and I know they will see my emotion written all over my face if I don’t do everything in my power to make sure I keep calm.
“Nearly there,” Callum tells me, as though sensing my discomfort. The van bumps over some uneven road as we close in on the safe house. I don’t know where I’m going to be staying, but I don’t care. Anywhere is home to me as long as my kids are safe, or at least, it can be.
A few minutes later, the van comes to a halt, drawing up outside what looks to be a log cabin. I climb out, taking Chrissie and Chuck into my arms, while Callum takes Stephanie and Jake inside. For a second, I just stare at him holding them, wondering if they could be in the arms of their father for the very first time…
“Inside,” Carlisle announces, cutting through my reverie. “We have business to take care of.”
Callum nods, striding toward the door, and I hurry after him, whispering to Chuck that everything is going to be okay. I canfeel his nails digging into my skin, a sure sign that he’s freaking out, and I silently implore the children to trust me when I say that everything is going to be alright.
Carlisle keys a code into the lock by the door and it opens with a hiss. Inside, it’s picture-perfect—half home, half firefighting base, with a large map lit up with several red dots on the far wall to indicate where the fire is starting to close in. I avert my eyes from it swiftly, not wanting to torture myself with the sight of how close those dots might be to our house.
“Food’s in the kitchen,” Carlisle tells me gruffly. “And there’s a walkie-talkie in the ops room if you need to get in touch with us?—”
“You’re leaving?”
“We have to get the fire under control,” Callum tells me as he gently places the kids on the couch. I notice that Stephanie takes a little longer to let go of his arm than normal, as though she doesn’t want to be without him, and I can’t blame her. I need something, anything, to ground me in the midst of all of this, and I can’t stand the thought of being alone right now…
But just as quickly as they swooped into my life, Carlisle and Callum vanish outside, and I hear the rumble of the van as it takes off along the road. The moment they’re gone and I’m left alone with my thoughts, my hand flies to my mouth as the panic attack that has been threatening since the moment those sirens tore through my ears finally gets the better of me.
I sink to the floor, squeezing my eyes shut and sending a prayer to whoever might be listening that my home will be okay.
And that those men who have stumbled back into my life aren’t quite as quick to take off again this time.
4
CARLISLE
In the backof the van, Callum and I are silent. There’s nothing to be said. I know that we’re entirely on the same page, our heads stuffed with the same shock, but it’s the last thing we can think about right now as the van speeds toward the crest of the hill that will lead us to the heart of the fire.
But the fire is the last thing on my mind, even as the smell of smoke fills the air. My hand closes on the respirator sitting on my lap, trying to focus on the task at hand, on what we came here to do.
But all I can think about is those four children. And her—Angelie, after all these years, just as beautiful as she was that night. Except now she has four children, a set of quads who look as though they could be around the right age to be…
Ours.
“Carlisle,” Callum mutters, nudging me with his foot. I realize that the van has come to a halt, and we’re back at her house again, on the edge of the forest where the fire is threatening to edge toward the town. With everyone gone, we can finallyfocus on getting this shit under control, even if it feels like little comfort knowing what might wait for us on the other side.
“I’m good,” I retort, and I rise to my feet, tossing open the back of the van to hook up the water tanks on the roof to our makeshift hoses. The rest of the equipment we need will be here in the next couple of hours, but we can’t leave the fire to rage for that long, not without putting every building in Devin Ridge at risk.
“You ready?” Joe barks to me as he pulls on his helmet and jacket, his eyes fixed in that way they get when he knows we have something to deal with. Dylan is already unraveling the hoses, and Callum scrambles to the top of a small ridge to get a better look at what we’re going to be dealing with.
“Ready,” I reply, hefting one of the hoses over my shoulder and looking to Callum. “Where do we start?”
“Lot of dry wood to the east,” he replies, hopping down to lift the portable water tank and move in step behind me. “If we can cut it off there, we might be able to keep it from reaching the town.”
“Let’s go,” Joe calls out, gesturing for us to move forward, and the four of us move with a practiced ease toward the fire.
It doesn’t get easier, this part of the job. Doesn’t matter how many times you do it, there’s always a part of you that wants to turn the fuck around and run for your life when faced with a blazing inferno like this. It goes against every one of your instincts as a person to move closer to the flame, to feel the searing heat on your skin.
As we descend a hill toward the line of fire that inches toward the town, I can already feel sweat beading on my brow, dripping down into my eyes, and I swipe it away, keeping a grip on thehose as I go. With just four of us, we need to be careful about where we put our resources, but if we can at least drive the fire back, we might be able to buy ourselves some more time.
“There’s a marsh further down the hill,” Callum calls out to us. “If we can push the line of fire behind that, it’ll at least burn out for a while. Too damp to make for good kindling.”
