“I’m fine,” he says.
“This is bullshit.You can’t be fine.”
“How do you know that?”
“I’m looking at you, Doctor.I can see right through you.”
I think he just stopped breathing.
“Okay, I feel like shit.Happy now?”
“I can’t be happy if you feel like shit.”
He stops breathing again.
Good thing we’re in a hospital, because I don’t think I could bring him back if I had to.
“Why?We’re not even friends, and we won’t become friends — you said so.”
“I said it.”
He shakes his head in confusion.
“But I haven’t told you why we can’t,” I add.
The Doctor keeps looking at me, searching for an answer.He doesn’t trust me, and he’s right not to.I’m not someone who makes plans, shares dreams, or sticks with the same team for my whole life.
And I’m telling him without a single word coming out of my mouth.
And he understands it without having to ask for anything else.
He closes his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh.He’s found his answer, but he’s not ready to hear it from me, and I’m not ready to say it out loud.
When he opens his eyes again, something is different.They’re still tired, but there’s a new light in them that makes me think I could play more than one game on his team.
I’ll play with you, Doctor.
However you want, wherever you want, for as long as you want.I’ll give it everything I have, even if it leaves me exhausted.And when we finally collapse on the grass, completely worn out, I promise you’ll fall onto me, and I’ll do everything I can to keep you from getting hurt.
I’m here, Doctor.I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay and that you won’t have to cry alone in your bed tonight.
Jamie is here for you.
The real one.
I don’t give a shit about being the Captain if I can’t beyourCaptain.
Chapter18
Martin
We sit in the almost deserted canteen, two untouched cups of tea between us.
“Have you eaten?”
“I didn’t have time.”
“How long since you’ve eaten?”
