“Is that the problem?That it’s not like the other times?”
“I don’t know.”
“How do we find out?”
“We?”I turn to Ian.
“We’re here for you.”
I let out an annoyed laugh and drop my eyes back to my phone.
“Is this you getting your own back because I meddled too much in your lives?”I ask.
“We want to help you, the way you helped us,” Ian says.
“I didn’t do a thing,” I mutter.
Ian’s hand settles on my shoulder.
“Will you just leave me be?I already told you it’s?—”
“Don’t say that again.You don’t believe it yourself,” Ryan says.
“It has to be nothing,” I say through clenched teeth.
“Why?”Ryan asks.
“Because it just does.”
“So you don’t do relationships?”Ian asks.
“I don’t… I can’t.”
The words come out in a near gasp.
“You were pure confident there, handing out advice like they were M&M’s at a kids’ party,” Ryan says.
“Ryan…” Ian warns.
“Grand, I’ll shut up.Ian, the wise one, please enlighten us all,” Ryan mutters.
“It’s never easy.But if you don’t try, you’ll never know how it feels,” Ian says.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Let someone in.”
“What makes you think I want it?Or need it?”
Ian smiles.“The fact that you’ve been holding that phone for twenty minutes.That you don’t feel like taking the piss out of it.And that you’re basically breathing with one lung.”
“And the fact that you’re not even worried about yourself,” Ryan adds.
I turn to him.
“You’re making the whole fucking mess because you’re worried about him.And if you’re worried about him, Jamie, it means you’re already fucked.If your first thought is how not to hurt the other person, you’ve already stepped over the line of self-protection.And if you feel you’re not enough, then it just means it’s just…”
“Don’t you dare!”I shoot to my feet.“It’s… It’s not… ah, fuck off!”
