Fuck, Jamie.Why the fuck don’t you ever shut your fucking mouth?
He is not your puppy to save.You are not taking him home for a bowl of water.
“You?”
“I don’t think you want to ask one of the O’Connors.”
“Ah, certainly not.That would be another funny little story to tell at family dinners.”
“Well, I guess you have no choice left at this point.”
“I don’t see why you should do that.”
“Let’s say I like to stick my nose in other people’s business.”
“I’m sure of that.”
“Think of it as a hand from a friend.”
“No offence,Captain, you and I are not friends.”
“No offence,Doctor, I don’t think we could ever become friends.I was just trying to be nice.”
“You’re never nice.Why should you be now?”
I sigh and take a step closer to disaster.“Because I know how it feels.”
“Being the family’s loser?I don’t think so.”
I smile tensely but stay silent.
“I work impossible hours.”
“No problem for me.”
“And I’ll be on call for the next forty-eight hours.This morning has cost me a double shift.I won’t be free for three days, and even then, I may not be in full possession of my mental faculties.”
“I’ll go easy on you,” I say, meeting his eyes.“Doctor.”I let the word out slowly, as if I’ve been holding it in, and it means more than I’m saying.
He smiles, looking a little embarrassed, and I let him stay that way.It flatters me, and honestly, I’m starting to like it more than I should.
“Do you have to work double shifts because you came here?”
“It’s no big deal.”
“And you have to deal with the brothers, outsiders included.”
“That’s a small price to pay, but I am well compensated.”
“You love him very much.”
“Of course I love him!He is my son.”
He says it like it’s the most natural thing in the world.But it isn’t, not for me.
For people like me, where I’m from, being a father doesn’t always mean loving your child.Having a father doesn’t always mean you feel safe.
Where I’m from, being a father means something completely different, something the Doctor has probably never known.It’s better not to think about it if you want to keep believing that, after all these years, the pain hurts less.
