“When he got my mum pregnant, he was really confused and went through a lot on his own because of the choice he had to make.”
“How do you know?You weren’t even there.”
“You should know my mother by now.You know she doesn’t keep shit.”
“And you don’t resent him for abandoning you?”
“He didn’t abandon us.He knew this wasn’t the life for him, and pretending would have hurt everyone.It took my mum years to let go of the idea of a family with him, but she did, and I came to understand it too.He also had to tell his own family he wasn’t what they wanted.He’d only just figured it out himself, and you know what happened then?”
I shake my head.
“They left him alone.”
My jaw tightens.
“And alone he went on.He wanted to be a doctor, and he succeeded; he wanted to be a father, and he’s great at it.He wanted to be a friend to mum, and he’s the best friend mum ever had.”
“What about his family?”I ask.
“His own mother still doesn’t speak to him.”
I nod, feeling the pain of it.
“His father died a few years ago.I went to the funeral with him.He pays for his mother’s nursing home and visits whenever he can, even though she refuses to speak to him.I’ve never heard him complain or look for sympathy.He never felt sorry for himself, never gave up, and he became the doctor he is today entirely on his own.He wasn’t always around, but he was there when it mattered.And neither Mum nor I ever blamed him.Sure, it wasn’t nice not having your dad around on your birthday, but over time, I understood.”
“Because you are a smart kid.”
“Did you think he was an arrogant doctor who always had things his way?”
“I didn’t think anything.He never told me about his past.”
“And you?Did you tell him about yours?”
I shake my head.
“He works in the Emergency Department because he wants to help where it really counts.The only reason he didn’t join MSF missions is that Mum and I needed him.We’re his family, and he loves us.”
I look down, not able to meet the eyes of this kid who talks about his father like he’s the best man in the world.I know it’s true.I’m the one who pushed him away.
“He wants to save everyone.”
I sigh.“He wants to save me, too.”
“It’s the first time he’s ever quit.”
“Maybe he knows it’s impossible to save me.”
“You don’t want to be saved.He respects that, even if it means losing you.But now I have to ask, are you willing to lose him?”
Lose him?
I never really had him.I never wanted him.And even if I tried, I wouldn’t even know how to keep him.
“It’s not too late, Captain.He always finds the right cure.I’m sure he already knows exactly what to do with you.”
Chapter76
Jamie
