“He has no idea what he’s found, Ian.”
“No, he doesn’t, because you won’t tell him.You don’t want to let him help you,” Ian says.
“He doesn’t have to help me.I’m not his patient.I’m not sick.”
“Are you sure?”Nick raises an eyebrow.“Because I actually think he’s the only doctor who can help you.”
“Holy shit, you started without me?”Ryan’s voice from the kitchen doorway makes all of us turn.
“Weren’t you on the opposite side?”Nick asks.
“Please don’t talk about the opposite front.”
“Why?Is he occupying your sofa without your consent?”
“My sofa?I’d give him the whole house if it would help.”Ryan’s voice is serious, tight with worry.“I love you, man,” he says, pointing at me.“And I have to say it because friends tell each other the truth, even when it hurts.”
Ian and Nick look at him while I lower my head.
“You’re making a huge mistake — one of those choices that only brings pain and suffering, and none of it has to happen.”
“Ryan,” Ian says, catching his arm.
“That man is broken.”
I shut my eyes.
“That man loves you.He’s falling apart because he loves you and wants to help, and you won’t let him.”
“Ryan…” Ian tries again.
“And he’s got a dignity you can’t even imagine.Not a word, not a tear — at least not in front of me.He just stands there, looking like he’s lost everything and doesn’t know what to do.And now I come here and see you, looking like you’ve lost everything and don’t want to move on.I’d slap you, but I can’t, because you’d probably hit me back, and then these two would tell everyone, and I’d look bad.”
“Can you try not to go off topic?”Ian tells him.
“I’m not here to tell you what to do.I’m not up for that, and I’m not like you.I haven’t been through what you have, and I don’t know how it feels, so I have no right to say anything about it.But as your friend, I can tell you this: that man loves you and would do anything to be with you.”
“You don’t understand, I’m not?—”
“Aren’t you made for love?”Ian says.
“Or do you just not have the courage to take the risk?”Nick adds.
“You have to do it, Jamie.Forgive,” Ryan says.“Or you’re going to lose this game, man.And this is one of those games that will change your whole life.”
Chapter74
Martin
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?”
“I have to go home.I have work, my life.”
“Do you want Evan to come stay with you for a while?”
“Evan is not a child,” my son says.“He’s right here.He hears you and can decide for himself what to do.Remember that I’m eighteen now.”
“As long as we pay for everything, you don’t decide shit,” Ryan points out.
