“It’s my pleasure, Doctor.”
And you have no idea how much it hurts.
When the bandsteps onto the stage, the pub goes quiet.Everyone waits, almost holding their breath, for the music to start.
“Mind if we join you?”Rain comes over with the girls.“It’s packed, and this spot has the best view.”
“I thought music was for listening,” I tease, making her blush.Then I turn to the Doctor.“Is it okay with you?”
“Of course,” he says, shifting along the small sofa to make room.Rain slides in beside him at once, with Alex next to her.I move as well, taking the seat opposite the Doctor, and Erin sits down beside me.
“Wait, I’m here too!”Ciara hurries over to our table.“Hey, Jamie, sorry I didn’t say hi earlier.I was busy getting everything ready before the show.”
“Is anyone still at the counter?”I ask.
“They know not to bother during the shows,” Ciara says.“Hi…”
“Martin.”
“First time?”she asks him.
“Yes.”
“You’ll like it, trust me.”
“Can we quiet down?”Erin calls us back.“They’re about to start.”
I turn halfway towards the stage as Aaron greets the crowd and kicks off the night.I glance at my Doctor, who’s watching the stage, then at Rain, whose big green eyes meet mine.She gives me a small smile before turning back to the band.
I keep watching the Doctor, not sure how much longer I can keep looking at him, not wanting to miss a single moment of what I have left.
Even without uttering a single word, you’re telling me in a thousand different ways, and I know.
I felt you, Doctor.My whole body felt you — every muscle, especially one.
And I believe it.I believe you.
But I’m afraid it’s not enough.
What if, after all this, I discover I’m nothing without you?What will I do then?How will I ever find the strength to stand again?How can I keep pretending once I’ve let you go?
While the Doctor listens intently to Liam’s song, I’m left alone with the relentless voices in my head.
How do I do it, Doctor?How can I tell you the truth without breaking my heart and yours, too?How can I possibly save us both from this pain?
I close my eyes because looking at him hurts too much.I try to take in the pain slowly, hoping I won’t lose control.Then someone’s fingers brush lightly against my hand, and I snap back to the present, my eyes flying open.
Her smile, her kind eyes, and now my pain has become hers too.Rain looks at me.In her eyes, I feel her urging me to do something, to take a chance.To stop hiding, to be honest with the man I love, to admit that if I let him go, I’ll have nothing left.
You did it,Doctor.
You brought us both to the end.
Aaron walksus to the door.“Don’t disappear again, okay?”he says, his tone bordering on threatening.
“I promise I’ll make it to at least one of your concerts.”
“Let me know which one, and I’ll get you a ticket…” He glances at the Doctor.“Maybe two.”He winks at me.
