I breathe into him and he into me, overwhelmed by this moment, by the desire to take it to the next stage, possibly in my room, with him leaning over me as I beg for his thrusts.The urge to have him for this night — just this one night — or my mind will no longer be able to go home.
Just as I think I have him in my grasp, the Doctor pulls away, gently but firmly pushing me back, his palms pressed to my racing heart.He composes himself, trying to mask his breathlessness, but he fails.
I know you enjoyed it, Doctor, and that you can’t wait to do it again.
He clears his throat, then crushes my pride and shatters my confidence.“I will not be one of your one-night stands,” he says, calm and impassive.“It doesn’t work that way with me.”
I stay silent, knowing that if I say a single word, I’ll only make myself look even more pathetic.
“I’m not impressed by your muscles, your pretty face, or the fact that you are… who you are.”His tone is harsher this time, almost annoyed.“I’m sorry you haven’t found anyone to end the night with, but you will not write my name on the wall of your conquests.”
He smooths his suit, turns away, and quickly disappears inside the venue.
I stand outside, incredulous, because I can’t believe I actually kissed the Doctor, tried to get him into bed, and got rejected.
I can’t believe the Doctor rejected me.
I can’t believe how I feel, knowing he doesn’t want me.
The Doctor doesn’t want me.
And knowing this only fuels my eagerness to have him as soon as possible, so I can rip him off, like an old band-aid, from my mind, my thoughts, and everything he is capable of clinging to, without causing any pain.
Without leaving any marks.
Chapter5
Jamie
Once I’m done with my daily training, I head to the facility’s back pitch, where the kids are practising.I approach the stands and see Nick yelling at his players.
“Problems?”I ask as I join him.
“Ask me why,” he replies.
“Why, what?”
“Why did I listen to you?”
“Because you know I’m always right.”
A few months ago, when Nick wasn’t sure of his path after rugby and modelling, I suggested he consider coaching.After a trial at the Leinster Summer Camp, they hired him as the junior team coach.
He drops back onto the second step.“If we lose this one too…”
“Ah, come on now, don’t be so negative.”
“How can I not be?We’ve lost three matches in a row.”
“Shit happens.”
“I can already feel the bench shaking under my arse.”
“Don’t be so dramatic.You’re only the junior coach; yours wouldn’t be the first arse kicked out.”
“This is not helping.”
I sit next to him and watch the kids playing on the pitch.“Give them time, and give yourself a bit of time as well.They’re not a proper team yet; it’ll take a while.”
