“Fuck…” the Doctor moans.
I move quickly, up and down, pressing him against the wall.His hands clutch desperately in my hair.I can feel how much he wants to pull me closer; the tension in his fingers says it all.He wants me to take all of him, to leave him empty.
He needs this as much as I do.
“God… not here,” he says, his voice strained.He takes my face in his hands and lifts my head.“Not like this.”
He helps me up and leans in, his mouth close to mine, his breath on my lips.His eyes search mine for something I’m terrified he’ll find.
“I need this, Doctor,” I say, breathless.
“What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk.I only want you.”
The Doctor studies me, still searching, but I refuse to let him see a single fucking piece of me.
I throw myself at him again, silencing his questions as I pull him with me towards the bedroom.If he doesn’t want this in the kitchen, that’s fine.We’ll do it before the pain gets too bad, before even he can’t take it away.
I push him onto the bed and pull off my shirt.Then I undo the buttons on my jeans and shove them down my thighs, letting them fall to the floor.I hook my fingers beneath the waistband of my briefs and slip them off as well, exposing myself completely.I stretch out over him, and the Doctor grips my buttocks tightly, urging me to rub my cock against his again, an urgent, painful friction that will bring us to an end far too soon.
I lean over his mouth, inhaling his minty breath, and bite his lower lip hard enough to make him gasp.
“Fuck me, Doctor,” I whisper, my voice raw with need.
“You came here for this?”he asks, his voice cracking.
“I came because I want you.”
His fingers dig into my flesh, marking me as his own.
I reach for his bedside table, where I now know he keeps everything we need.I rummage inside and pull out a condom.I tear the wrapper open with my teeth and slide it free.The Doctor watches me carefully as I place it on the tip of his cock, then unroll it to its length.When I reach the bottom, he catches my hands, forcing me to look at him.
Don’t, Doctor.Don’t try to understand me.If you do, we’ll both fall, and neither of us will be able to save the other.
He rises and lunges forward.His magical, lethal hands clamp around the back of my neck as his mouth crashes against mine.He wants to hold me, to reshape me into something I’m not, to pull me back, drag me to him.But if I get any closer, Doctor, it will all end too soon, and I’m not ready to lose you yet.
He kisses me slowly, tilting his head to the side in search of a deeper angle, his tongue moving eagerly against mine.I grasp his face too, fingers digging into his jawline, desperately holding him close, fighting the anger and pain that threaten to tear him away from me.
The Doctor pushes me aside, laying me down next to him.One hand trails down my body, seeking contact.I press harder against him, my body begging him to understand — the desperate need for him to put an end to this before I lose my mind completely.
When his hand closes around my cock, I growl through clenched teeth.
“Fuck, Doctor.”
I shove him aside, and I sit on his lap, pinning his arms to the bed.Then I lean down to his mouth and bite him, hard, anger driving my teeth into his flesh.
He’s wasting time.He refuses to give me what I want.Instead, he keeps offering me something else — useless things, things that will never save me.
I let go of him, and he slowly turns to the side, picks up the bottle of lube, spreads some on his hands, then looks at me.I don’t give him a chance to ask; he’s figured it out by now.I lie on the bed, waiting to feel him.The Doctor grabs me by the chest and pulls me up, pressing me against him.He holds me there, not forcing me — I’m letting him.I want to feel the warmth of his skin, his breath, and his fucking heart, which he’s decided to give to me.Even though I never asked for it, I realise I want it all the same.
Chapter60
Martin
Ipull him closer, letting him lean into me.I hold him gently, knowing he doesn’t need pressure — only security, warmth, and gentleness.I can give him all of that, as much as he needs.
He thinks he needs something else from me, but I won’t try to bury his pain with sex.
