“I feel like I’m burning up from the inside, trust me.”
“You idiot.”He shakes his head.
I take his face in my hands.“This is all new to me.Just give me a bit of time.”
“I can do that.”
I lean in and let my lips brush his — a soft, uncertain kiss — before I pull away.
“Were you serious about wanting me to read to you?”he asks.
“I was deadly serious.”
The Doctor turns, takes one of the cups, and passes it to me.I leave it on the bedside table while he reaches for the book.
He opens it and says quietly, “I have not moved on.”
“Were you waiting for me to come back?”
“I think I never would have finished it.”
He doesn’t answer me straight, but I know what he means: he was sure I’d never come back.
He starts to read from where we left off.I relax into him and rest my head on his shoulder, drinking in the warm, steady sound of his voice, his breath keeping time with the words, his scent, and the easy hush wrapped around these walls.
And I’m fine.I feel good.I’m in the right place, doing the right thing.And still, somehow, it’s even harder to breathe.
Chapter49
Jamie
“Do you need help?”I lean over Ryan, who’s under the barbell.
“I’m grand.”
“You know you need someone with you.It’s not safe, and you’re a dickhead.”
I help him rack the bar, and he pushes himself up with a hard breath.
“Someone’s in a great mood, I see.”
“No more than usual.”
“Is this about last night?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
I sit on the bench next to Ryan.“If Ian made this choice, it must be right for him.”
Ryan snorts, goes all defensive, and braces his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor.
“Ian is not stupid; he knows sooner or later, he’ll start to feel fatigue, feel his age, and that he’ll never be the same.”
“There is still time.He’s fucking young!”
“For someone who’s always played at the top, accepting decline is harder than walking away at his best.You know that.He’s your brother.You should be backing him.It won’t be easy for him.”
“And for you?”he asks, finally looking at me.
