“We promise, Jamie,” Ian says.“Both of us.”
And then the first collapse.
It hits like the first tremor of an earthquake, the kind that strikes in the dead of night and leaves no time to reach safety.It’s powerful, unstoppable, and it shakes everything: your walls, your ceiling, your entire fucking world.
You cannot escape.You are frozen with fear, trapped as everything around you crumbles.All you can do is hope you survive and that, once buried in the rubble, someone will bother to dig you out.
But I don’t pray.I don’t believe.I have no faith in anything.
Never have.
I always knew something would shatter sooner or later, but I never imagined it would be this force.I never pictured a disaster like this.I never thought I’d be rushing to my sister’s house at the crack of dawn, begging her to hide me again.I never thought her husband would go along with it, hiding the two of us.And I never thought that the thing chasing me, the thing I was so afraid of, would turn out to be my own heart, because I was sure I had buried it years ago, along with my father, with Jamie Kennedy, and with the rest of my whole fucked-up life.
How Not to Fall in Love, Cecelia Ahern
Chapter42
Martin
Ireach a hand towards the bedside table and switch off the alarm with a resigned sigh.I’ve been sitting in the middle of the bed for a while now, ever since Jamie slipped off the sheets and ran away at dawn like any other arsehole.I heard him shuffling around the house, the water going in the bathroom, then the rustling of clothes before he slipped out the front door.
He didn’t look back.He probably waited for me to fall asleep so he could leave without having to explain a thing.
I would never have asked him to stay or to come back to me.
I only brought him home because he was sick.It wasn’t to change his mind, though I was half-hoping, God help me.When he looked at me or asked me to read to him in bed, I let myself see what I wanted to see.I’m a fool for that.
I fling the covers off, plant my feet on the floor, and brace myself for work.The hospital, my colleagues, my patients: if anything’s going to drag me back to myself, it’s the routine.It’ll have to, before Jamie pulls me any further into whatever game he’s playing.
I’ve never had any time for games, not even when I was younger.
I’ve no head for them and never should’ve tried, knowing I can’t stand losing.
“Dr Kane?Someone is here to see you.”The nurse at the reception desk points towards the waiting room.I look up, my heart trying to force its way into my throat, and spot my son standing there, slouched against the hallway wall.
I hand the last chart of the day to the nurse and, trying to hide my hopefulness, mentally mock myself for my own stupidity.
“Were you expecting someone else?”Evan asks immediately.
He definitely got all his brains from his mother.
“I wasn’t expecting anyone,” I say, smoothing over the disappointment in my voice.“What are you doing here?”
“I had no class today.”
“What about training?”
“No training either.”
I study him, wondering if he’s lying.
“I had nothing on.Thought we could grab some dinner.”
I must have hit rock bottom if my son’s taking pity on me.
“Sure, I’m finished for the day.Let’s go home.I’ll cook you something…”
“Nah, let’s go out.”
