“If you think you can’t do it, then there’s only one way out.”
“I can’t just turn my back on that girl.”
“Well, from what it seems, that girl has a pretty bad track record behind her.”
“Must take after her father,” I say, smiling slightly.
“The apple never falls far from the tree,” Anya comments.
“I’ll think of something.”
“I know you’ll find a way to help them.”
I stab at my rice and take a tiny helping. I stare at my fork, thoughtfully, then lift my gaze as I bring it up to my mouth; my eyes fall onto one of the posters pinned to my notice board. I chew slowly, my eyes glued to that image, a dangerous idea beginning to form in my mind.
“What?” Anya asks, realising that I’m staring at something behind her.
She turns towards my notice board and follows my gaze, before turning back to me a few seconds later.
“He’ll never agree to that.”
“He will if I offer him something in exchange that he can’t say no to.”
“And you’re not talking about your body?”
I glare at her.
“I was just checking…” She raises her hands and goes back to her lunch. “You never used to be like this.”
“Like what?”
“A bitch?”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Itisa compliment. You used to be so serious, so closed-off.”
“I still am.”
She shakes her head no. “Something’s changed.”
Life. Disappointment. Betrayal. A broken heart.
“And I’m happy about it, in a way. I like seeing you let yourself go a little more, give in to one crazy night, come up with these plans to gain respect for yourself.”
“I haven’t come up with anything yet – and I still don’t know if it’ll work.”
“You’ll make it work, I know you will. And I’ll be here to help you with whatever you need.” She jumps down from my desk, taking her empty bowl with her. “Break’s over, time to get back to work.”
“Thanks.”
She winks at me and leaves my office, as I pull myself up from the armchair and close over my almost untouched container. My stomach is doing somersaults, and my nerves are frazzled. This whole situation is way out of my comfort zone, out of my control – and I don’t know how to handle it. This is what happens when you let yourself go for a night; what happens when you let your guard down, just for a moment, and bring a man home.
This is what happens when you try to be someone you’re not.
I walk over to the window of my office, which looks out over the outside lunch area; a few students are rushing around, grabbing their things, before they have to go back inside. I think about that girl: so angry, so alone. She needs help. Then my thoughts drift to her father, to his words; to his desperate, pleading eyes.
I sigh, exhausted, and turn to take another look at the poster pinned to my notice board. I can’t just forget about them, abandon them when they need me most. I can’t abandonher. That’s the last thing she needs. I have the girl’s best interests at heart – definitelynotNiall Kerry’s interests. I have to do something. I have to push aside my feelings for him and everything that happened between us, and move forward. I need to find a way to help them, to make sure that everyone has the best possible outcome from this.
