Things could have been good between us, too – but you decided that it wasn’t worth the risk.
But I don’t say that to her. All it takes is one glance from her sad eyes and I swallow my words, letting them sink like rocks into my stomach. I don’t want to upset her, even though she used me. I don’t want to hurt her.
“I think you can go over to them, now.”
And I definitely don’t want to lose her.
I think about this for a moment, then I ask her.
“We’re all going out for pizza tonight to celebrate. Do you want to come with us?”
“I’d love to, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I nod, disappointed. I knew she’d say no – but a part of me had hoped, anyway.
“It was a great game,” she says. “I knew you were the right man for the job.”
The right man for the job; but not for you.
I don’t say that, either.
“I’ll see you around,” she says, before walking quickly away, leaving me alone with the knowledge that, no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be worth the risk for her.
Niall
After our third consecutive victory, my mood starts to brighten. It’s all thanks to the kids: they’ve saved my reputation by winning three games in a row. We’re currently placing first in the tournament.
I send them all off into the changing rooms and chat to a few of their parents, giving my daughter time to suck face with Carter behind the bleachers.
I pretend I have no idea what’s going on, that I’ve never seen them, or heard them on the phone. I pretend to be a good father.
I’m making good progress, here.
“It wasn’t easy to track you down.”
A familiar voice rings out from behind me, in the almost-empty seats.
“What…? What the hell…?”
“I came to see how you’re getting on, mate.”
“I’m not your mate,” I say to Phil, my ex-manager who I also once believed to be my friend – until he threw me under the bus, just like everyone else who used me for my fame.
“Good game.”
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t think you wanted to coach.”
“Oh, well, you know, after you guys told me to fuck off, I had to sort something out for myself pretty quickly.”
“Are you pissed off with me?”
“No.”
Maybe I was at first; but, in the end, this was the best choice I could have made for Skylar.
“There are only two matches left,” he reminds me.
