“I’m not sure I could say Idoyoga – I try. Just to help with my stress.”
“And can you do it?” Skylar jumps into the conversation. “All those weird things, bending yourself into knots, standing with one foot on the other…?”
“Not really. But it helps me unwind.”
“I think it’s boring.”
“You think everything’s boring,” Niall says to her.
“True. Especially you.”
“What do you like, Skylar?” Iris interjects. “Do you like reading? Or maybe something more artistic, like…painting?”
Skylar glances at her – I’ve realised that she doesn’t like people to know what she does. And I’m definitely not going to be the one to spy on her.
“Sometimes I read,” she says, vaguely, which catches her father’s attention.
“I like reading, too. Mainly psychological thrillers: you know, the ones that keep you holding your breath right until the last minute, let you slip inside the characters’ minds. The kind of books that you can’t put down.”
“Yeah, those aren’t bad.”
“I prefer romantic comedies,” I find myself adding. “Stories that make you laugh and make you dream.”
“I don’t read those,” Skylar says, bluntly.
“Me neither, believe me. I’ve had quite enough of love in my time,” Iris adds.
I smile a little, feeling slightly awkward, and sip at my wine. I’m not ashamed of the stuff I read, but I sometimes feel ashamed that I’m still such a dreamer – at least within the pages of a book.
“It’s okay to dream without the risk of getting hurt,” I say under my breath, almost without even realising the words are out of my mouth.
“But that means you’re dreaming of things that have nothing to do with you,” Niall points out, drawing my attention back towards him.
“They’re fictional characters. I’m not taking anyone’s dreams from them.”
“You’re taking them from yourself.”
I nod, slowly. “I’ve had dreams of my own, Kerry,” I say, bitterly.
“Dreams that never happened?” Skylar asks me, strangely interested.
I don’t want the conversation to focus on me, my flaws and my disappointment; but it’s too late. The bitterness has come flooding back into my body.
“Not everything we want in life can come true, unfortunately.”
Skylar smiles sadly at me.
“It’s part of life,” Iris adds. “We just need to accept it.”
“I don’t believe in all that,” Skylar continues. She’s more chatty than usual, tonight. “In dreams, or desires.”
“So whatdoyou believe in?” my grandmother asks, discreetly.
“I believe in the things we build up and create ourselves.”
Iris smiles at me, as Niall gazes concernedly at his daughter.
“That sounds like a wonderful outlook on life,” Iris comments. “But you should never forget, my dear, that sometimes, closing your eyes and letting yourself dream is good for your heart.”
