“But that doesn’t mean that you should only dedicate yourself to her,” my father says.
“What?”
“It’s good to be there for her, to focus your attention on your daughter and her future, but that doesn’t mean that you should forget about yourself in the process.”
“I’m not sure I’m following, Dad.”
“You’re a man, Niall. And, from what I can see, you’re also extremely lonely.”
“I’m not lonely,” I say, offended.
“I don’t exactly see women lining up outside.”
“This isn’t the best time to be talking about women.”
“Your mother and I are worried about Skylar.”
“We all are.”
“And we’re worried about you, too.”
“Are you worried I’m going to fuck something up again?”
“We’re worried that now, because you want to do the right thing, that you’ll forget about everything else. We’re worried you’ll forget about yourself.”
“Don’t you think I’ve already thought about myself enough?”
“I think you’ve been thinking about yourself in the wrong way.”
“You’re losing me, Dad,” I say, confused.
“You can’t be a good father to anyone if you’re unhappy inside.”
“I’m not unhappy.”
“You need to dedicate your time to yourself, too; because you can only be a better father to your daughter once you’re truly happy. You need to be an example for her. The hardest part is finding the right balance.”
“This conversation is getting way too complicated.”
“Maybe you’ll only understand it when the time is right.”
“What I think, Dad, is that I’ve fucked up too many times. I’ll never have enough time to make it up to her.”
“You have messed up a lot, that’s true. But you’ll find the time to make it up to her if youwantto, Niall.”
I smile at my father, as I see Skylar approaching in the distance, those horrendous rubber boots on her feet. My father follows my gaze and turns to face her, putting his paintbrush back in the empty bucket.
“Maybe you two should finish up here,” he says mischievously. “I’m tired. I think I’m going to go and have a little nap under that tree.”
“You’re really making the most of this, aren’t you?”
My father chuckles from beneath his moustache, smugly content.
“Maybe a little. Hopefully you’ll be able to make the most of it, too.”
Niall
Ispent almost twenty years playing for the best team in the country; they scouted me while I was still living here. I received two more offers after I left school, but I didn’t want to stay here, near my family. I didn’t want to be the guy who couldn’t let go of his roots.
