“We can help. Extra eyes and all that. We can look out for her expressions, her gestures and… What’s this surgeon like, by the way?” Jamie continues.
We’re in my car, parked a few metres away from her house, behind a hedge that’s just tall enough to cover half the windscreen. Here we are: three losers that have now become four. As Ryan says: the more the merrier. Even though it seems to me like they just want to have a laugh at my expense.
Well, somebody told me you had a boyfriend… Who looked like a girlfriend… That I had in February of last year… It’s not confidential, I’ve got potential.
“There. That’s what he looks like.”
“Who?” Jamie asks.
“The radio,” I say, nodding towards it. “He’s not a real…man. He’s more like a puppet: clean, elegant…not a single hair on his chin. I mean, come on!”
Ryan switches off the radio.
“I’ve already seen this episode, and it doesn’t end well. It’s better in silence.”
“Couldn’t you have chosen a better place to park? I can’t see anything from here,” Ian complains.
Didn’t we say silence was best?
“You lot shouldn’t even be here!” I turn around menacingly, but someone knocks suddenly on the window.
I turn to see the coach’s face pressed against the glass.
“Fuck!” Ryan tries to sink down into the seat. I don’t think he’s realised that his mountain of muscles is visible from miles away.
I wind down the window and smile at the coach.
“If I were you, I wouldn’t be laughing so much. I have my rifle inside.”
“And we both know that it’s a BB gun.”
“Mmm,” he adds. “Two or three pellets in the balls, boy, and you won’t be able to annoy anyone anymore, I assure you.”
Jamie bursts out laughing from the back seat, distracting the coach’s attention briefly from me.
“And who the hell are you?” he asks, glaring into the back seat.
“I’m Jamie.”
“What are you doing with these three arseholes, Jamie?”
“Believe me, sir, I’m asking myself the same question.”
The coach studies him for a while. “Do I know you?”
“I don’t think so, sir.”
“I recognise your face.”
Jamie smiles smugly. “I’m Jamie Murray, coach.”
Madigan’s face opens into a broad smile. Jesus, I didn’t think he was capable. Actually, it’s better that he doesn’t: it’s even more terrifying.
“I know I’ve already asked this, but now I’m even more confused. What the hell is a champion like you doing with these idiots?”
Jamie laughs again. I know he’s enjoying himself. He opens the door and jumps out of the car. “Unfortunately, my sister is this one’s girlfriend,” he says, gesturing towards Ian.
“Oh, fuck. I’m sorry, boy.”
