“We’ll get there in a minute.”
“Tell him step two,” Ian presses.
“Step two: get rid of Dr Dickhead.”
“Ryan…” Ian scoffs impatiently.
“What?” he asks innocently, as if he hadn’t just tried to cut Martin, Evan’s dad, out of the picture. “While we’re here, we could kill two birds with one stone.”
“Martin isn’t Nick’s problem; he’s yours. If you want to get rid of him, do it on your own time.”
“And don’t forget that we need him.”
I turn suddenly, trying to make out the new voice that’s piped up, and see Evan coming down the stairs.
“What are you doing here?”
“I live here?”
“Yeah, but…”
“He couldn’t miss all this,” Ryan explains.
Evan perches next to me on the arm of the armchair. “I think it’ll be useful for me. At least I know never to come to any of you lot for help.”
“You can always go to your daddy instead,” Ryan shoots back, offended.
“What problems could you have, anyway?” I ask him.
“Mate, have you seen me?” Evan gets to his feet, gesturing to his physique with one hand.
Ryan’s having a terrible influence on this kid. It’s already ruining him.
“Can we keep going?” Ian interjects.
“Okay, we’ll deal with Martin later. Maybe when we don’t need him anymore. Let’s skip to step three: convincing her that you’re not an arsehole,” Ryan goes on.
“That’s going to be impossible,” Ian interrupts.
“Thanks.”
“Step four: make her fall in love with you again.”
“Again? Who said she ever was in the first place?”
“Jesus, Nick, how thickareyou?” Ian stands up and starts to pace around the living room. “What do you think we’re doing here?”
I look at him, concerned.
“We’re trying to repair all your damage,” Ryan says. “At least cooperate.”
I sigh, exasperated.
“Step five: build a life for yourself and get you out from under our feet.”
“Don’t forget the footnote,” Ian says, pointing to the sheet of paper in front of them.
“Ah, yeah. Footnote: don’t ruin everything like you always do.”
