“Insult? That was a sign of affection.”
“Let me find the tissues in the glove compartment, I’m about to tear up with emotion.”
“What shall we do, Nick?”
“What are you talking about?”
“The girl you let get away.”
“I didn’t let anyone get away.”
Ryan raises an eyebrow.
“We were just chatting.”
“A nice, friendly catch-up?”
“Not exactly.”
“No, of course not. It’s never friendly with you. I’m sure you’ve left a nice, long trail of shit behind you.”
“Like I always do – right?”
“Don’t you think it’s time to give up the shit and start planting flowers instead?”
“Do we really have to talk in metaphors like this?”
“Okay, let me get straight to the point.”
“Don’t tell me you’ve spoken to Ian.”
“What a stupid question. Obviously I have. Your life is in our hands now.”
“Oh, holy shit.”
“I’m glad you said that. We’re going to stage one of those interventions that shows no mercy. And, this time, you’re going to go the whole way. No more drunken phone calls in the middle of the night. No more throwing your bag over your shoulder, heading to somewhere around the other side of the world. No more turning your back on anyone, especially not yourself. Got it?”
“Yes, Dad.”
“Be serious, Nick. You’re so far from that point right now.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” I say, trying to kid around; but the look on Ryan’s face shuts me right up. “Do you really think I could do it?”
“What: stop all your bullshit and start being a normal human being? No, I don’t think you can do it.”
“Wow, thanks.”
“I’m just being honest. I don’t think you can change. But maybe, if you start to show off your good side more often…then maybe she’d be able to look past the rest.”
“You think there’s a good side?”
“Obviously not for me. But I reckon that, for the right woman, you’d be able to pull out…something.”
I stifle a laugh, which pisses Ryan off right away. “What the hell, Nick! Grow up!”
And to think that, a few months ago,Iwas the one saying that tohim. The tables are turning and our roles are switching – and I don’t like it one bit. Especially not when I’m the one on the wrong side.
“You know what the problem is,” I tell him, defeated.
