“What do you mean?”
Jamie smiles at me mischievously. “You’re Nick. And do you know the only thing that matters? What you want – and what you can do to get it.”
“I don’t know what I want.”
“Then find out. Run, Nick. Don’t stop. Dodge the tackles, pass the opponents and head straight for the try zone.”
19
Nick
That Saturday morning – the first day I’m finally free from the kids’ summer camp – I go to Chris’ café, theRed Cherry, for breakfast.
“Morning!” Chris greets me, lifting her gaze from the table where Ryan and Evan are sat.
“I’m going to call ahead next time and make sure that your little boys aren’t here,” I say, before bending to kiss her on the cheek.
“Do you have to?” Ryan says right away.
Things are going much better between us. He’s not trying to kill me anymore, and he doesn’t mind me being close to his girlfriend. I can understand him though: it’s hard to forget the past sometimes, and what I did will always be a weight on our shoulders, but I care about Chris, and I’m not going to stay away from her just to make him feel better. Besides, I want to be part of the family – thewholefamily – and sooner or later Ryan will forgive me. I’m definitely not going to be the one to give in first.
I sit down with them and Evan closes the book in front of him.
“What’s going on?”
“Evan’s studying for his exams.”
“I’ll never get it!” He crosses his arms.
“You’re so melodramatic! Instead of complaining, why don’t you get your head stuck in that fucking book and just get on with it,” Ryan criticises.
Evan’s just graduated secondary school. Next week he has his entrance exams, and then he’ll find out if he has enough points to get into university. He’s applied for UCD in the hope that he’ll be able to train in their team at the centre. The boy’s worked hard, even though it’s still early days; he’s quick, with long legs and an innate ability for sport. It would be a shame to waste his talents. Unfortunately, though, to get into UCD, he needs a really high mark, or he’ll have to find another club to train at, which probably won’t be as good.
“Come on, it’s not so bad,” I say, trying to lift his spirits. “They’re only a few exams, right?”
“Exams that I’m going to fail!”
Ryan shakes his head and stands up. “I’m going to get another coffee – we’ll be here for a while.”
“Can you grab one for me, too?” I ask.
“Fuck yourself,” is his delightful response.
“I’ll bring you one,” Chris says, placing a hand on my arm. “And I’ll make you a full Irish as well.”
“Thanks, Chris. Please, never start acting like him.”
Chris laughs and goes to join her beloved Ryan behind the counter, as I stay with Evan.
“What’s the problem?”
“I don’t know. I was never that bad at school, my marks were always alright, but…”
“You feel like you’re under loads of pressure?”
“Maybe a bit. I don’t want to let anyone down.”
“By ‘anyone’, do you mean Ryan?”
