Chris glares at me. “If you don’t have a vagina, you’re not allowed to comment.”
She sits down next to Ian and helps him take a few deep breaths, making him rest his head on his knees.
“Breathe, Ian. It’s just all the excitement,” she says kindly.
“It’s just that you’re a loser,” Evan tells him, winding him up.
This kid is starting to remind me more and more of Ryan. I feel really sorry for Chris having to put up with them both.
“Do you want me to go in with her for a bit while you’re recovering?” Chris asks.
Ian slowly lifts his head. “I can do it.”
That’s good. At least he’s found his balls again.
He gets back up and heads towards Riley’s room, wearing his green hospital gown, as we make ourselves comfortable in the waiting room. Chris sits on Ryan’s knee and he wraps his arms around her waist, leaning his chin on her shoulder; she smiles and rubs her face against his as Evan watches them, shaking his head. He turns to me and mimes vomiting all over the waiting room, and I laugh in response.
Yeah, I know. We could be twins.
He comes over and sits in the empty chair next to me, stretching his legs out in front of him. It won’t be long before they’re longer than mine.
Jesus, this kid – who’s not really a kid anymore – will be able to tear me to pieces pretty soon.
“What d’you reckon, Uncle Loser? Shall we grab a coffee? It’s four in the morning and I’m shattered – I only got home two hours ago. This baby couldn’t have chosen a better time.”
“I’m not Uncle Loser.”
“Sure you are.”
“If anyone’s a loser here, it’s Ryan.”
He lifts his head and looks at me, pretending to be annoyed.
“What’s that about losers? Because I can see three of them right here.” Jamie’s shrill voice makes us all jump. He stands there, hands on hips, with a smile that lights up his entire face. His expression tells us that he has no intention of being second-place.
“So, O’Connor, let’s just clear something up. I’m the only perfect uncle around here.”
Ian suddenly appears among us, his face even whiter than before. I jump to my feet and approach him; he looks at me, but not really. It’s like he’s looking past me, lost, distant, overcome by his own emotions.
“What…? Ian, what?” I ask, anxious.
He shakes his head and rubs his eyes.
“Talk, for fuck’s sake!” I raise my voice, attracting everyone’s attention.
“Nick…it’s…my daughter,” he says, overwhelmed. “Mine.”
I smile and let out a sigh of relief.
“I have a baby, Nick.”
I place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze it affectionately.
“I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”
The others come over to us, waiting to hear the rest – but Ian can’t do anything but laugh and cry, almost hysterical. I almost slap him to bring him back to his senses, but he’s already been battered enough tonight by his own emotion. So I decide to leave him be – at least, until next time.
Slowly, he calms down, looking around at everyone with bright eyes, pride oozing out of every pore: he gathers up his courage and announces:
