“Nick and I were never in a relationship.”
“But you were in love with him.”
I stare fixedly at my coffee, avoiding Martin’s gaze.
“And he wasn’t in love with you.”
There you have it. The truth. It still hurts, even after eight years. And it hurts even more hearing it from someone else. Out loud.
“Was he your only love?”
I glance at him. “Nick O’Connor isn’t easy to forget,” I say quietly, almost afraid that I’ll hear my own words.
Because it’s true. You can’t forget Nick O’Connor.
Nick might be an irresponsible dickhead, but he has a softer side, filled with small, kind gestures that are unexpected, but always wonderful. And he makes you laugh; at yourself, at the whole world. He makes you look at life with a lightness that dissipates all your bad days. He makes you feel happy,alive.
Nick O’Connor makes you feel. And after you’ve felt him, you’ll never feel anything like it again.
“But in the end, I did manage to forget him.”
“Are you sure?”
“It took a while, but yeah.”
“But you never fell in love again?”
“It just never happened.”
“You should get out more, meet some exciting men…”
“I do. I’m going out with Luke, remember.”
“Please, let’s not mention him.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re not in love with him.”
“We’ve not been seeing each other for long, Martin. These things take time. Maybe it’ll happen one day.”
“There’s no spark between you. No passion.”
“But we have respect, understanding…”
“Jesus, that sucks.”
I laugh, despite Martin’s bullshit.
“And we’re sure that Nick O’Connor has nothing to do with this?”
“Come on, Martin. It’s been years, and he’d never feel the same way. I’m not that much of a loser.”
“Maybe hedidlove you back.”
“Who? Nick?” I laugh, shaking my head. “He only has eyes for himself. He loves himself so much that there’s no room left for anyone else – apart from his family.”
“That’s probably true. From what I can see, all the O’Connor brothers have the same problem – until they meet the right person.”
