She leads me over to the dance floor and I pull her close to me. She lifts her gaze to meet mine, and I can feel her soul pulling me in – it’s so beautiful, so light. So pure. It’s like I could reach out and touch it, trace its edges with one finger; it’s like I can feel it taking me by the hand and guiding me out of the darkness, saving me from the raging inferno and up into paradise. I can feel its grip now – so determined that it projects its strength, its love, into me. She’s giving me everything I could never have on my own. And I know that I could only ever have it next to her.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks, pulling me out of my trance.
“I like your dress.”
She smiles. “I knew green was someone’s favourite colour.”
I bend down to her, brushing my lips against hers. “Thank you, Casey.”
“For what? It’s just a dress.”
“For helping me realise that, without us, I was nothing.”
“Oh…I…”
“It’s as if you’re an angel sent to save me from my personal hell, to help me find the way.”
“The way to heaven?” she asks, raising an eyebrow in amusement.
“The way home.”
She bites down on her lip, trying to hold back her emotions.
“I could never thank you enough for that. You…you brought me back, showed me the light. You believed in me, you loved me, and I… I finally feel likeme: like Nick, with all his mistakes and all his bullshit. But it’s all real. I just feel like…myself.”
“And I love you, just as you are.”
And I love her. I love the way she makes me feel about myself, the way I feel when I’m with her.
I love who we are together.
A safety net. A home.
A family.
Everyone deserves a family, I once said to someone, years ago.
Now I finally feel like I might deserve one, too.
Epilogue
Nick
“You’re not nervous, are you?”
“What the fuck are you on about?”
“I don’t know, you seem nervous. You’re as white as a sheet, and you look like you’re about to heave up everything you’ve eaten.”
“Who the fuck let you in, anyway?” I ask Ryan, losing my patience.
“Stupid question. Him,” Ian says, nodding towards Jamie, who’s winding up the kids.
“Jesus, this is never-ending. It’s like a vicious cycle.”
“Do to others as you want done to yourself,” Ryan says, obviously asking for a fist through his face.
“Couldn’t you have gone and sat in the stands like normal people?”
